I haven’t led worship at my church for fourteen weeks. In fact, I’ve honestly barely used my voice to sing in all that time. It has been a season of silence for me, my worship so private and hidden from the world.
I have worshiped more deeply and sincerely than ever before in the secret. No platform. No livestream. No lights. No one even singing, and yet, worship. In fact, I almost didn’t write this because it seems too public, but I feel prompted that someone else is worshiping in the secret too, and needs to be encouraged.
I have not been singing with my voice, but I have worshiped.
Many people serve the vulnerable every single day, and worship Jesus through their service. But for the church worship leader, it can be easy to get so caught up in arrangements and production and scheduling and the skill of it all that our worship rings hollow.
I needed these fourteen Sundays. And I may need the next fourteen as the Lord reframes my perspective of true worship. For now, I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus and stay present in each moment as we walk my mom through her twilight days.
It’s here that I worship in spirit and in truth.
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
Matthew 25:40
Have you experienced seasons of private, quiet, hidden worship? Tell us about it in the comments!
I have been thinking and talking a lot about purpose lately. Over the years I had developed a way of living that was more reactionary than purposed. I existed in response-mode rather than with true intentionality and didn’t really have the self awareness to see it. But it sure made me tired and oftentimes discontent.
Slowing down
My lens has been sharpening my focus over this last season. Some of the questions that have helped me are:
When I answer those questions, it is both revealing and life-giving. It helps me slow down my reactionary response to the waves coming at me and be more intentional to create my own. It shows me where I have neglected to build margin into my life. And it shows me where I have labored in vain doing what others said I should do rather than what God had uniquely called me to.
But thankfully it also shows me the times my God-given design and my investment in the world around me have collided to bring the most Kingdom impact and personal fulfillment. This opens me up to dream and look toward my future with greater purpose and intention. And it makes me believe in a future that capitalizes on my gift-mix but has healthy margin and adapts to my seasonal rhythms. And best of all, it will include respite and water, worship, hospitality, and overall wellness.
This dream is not completely clear yet, but it’s percolating. And I am diligently pursuing it. I continually pray that the Holy Spirit will bring wisdom, refreshing, clarity, and understanding.
The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters,
but one who has insight draws them out.
Proverbs 20:5 NIV
Do you have a seed of a dream you are watering? How are you dreaming with purpose? Tell us in the comments!