I haven’t led worship at my church for fourteen weeks. In fact, I’ve honestly barely used my voice to sing in all that time. It has been a season of silence for me, my worship so private and hidden from the world.
Worship in the quiet
I have worshiped more deeply and sincerely than ever before in the secret. No platform. No livestream. No lights. No one even singing, and yet, worship. In fact, I almost didn’t write this because it seems too public, but I feel prompted that someone else is worshiping in the secret too, and needs to be encouraged.
I have not been singing with my voice, but I have worshiped.
Making hot tea – worship.
Reminding of God’s presence – worship.
Choosing to laugh – worship.
Injecting pain meds – worship.
Processing hard news together – worship.
Motivating to try another step – worship.
Reminiscing – worship.
Changing bedding – worship.
Encouraging care workers – worship.
Holding weight when legs are weak – worship.
Not hiding from the reality of death – worship.
Telling that same story again – worship.
Choosing intentional conversation – worship.
Serving the vulnerable
Many people serve the vulnerable every single day, and worship Jesus through their service. But for the church worship leader, it can be easy to get so caught up in arrangements and production and scheduling and the skill of it all that our worship rings hollow.
I needed these fourteen Sundays. And I may need the next fourteen as the Lord reframes my perspective of true worship. For now, I choose to fix my eyes on Jesus and stay present in each moment as we walk my mom through her twilight days.
It’s here that I worship in spirit and in truth.
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
Our family has always enjoyed our calling to be worship leaders. We are grateful to have the privilege of using skills we’ve worked hard to develop as a vehicle to help others connect with each other and with God through singing, Scripture and prayer, silence, story. The kind of intimate community that forms as hearts open up to each other is beautiful.
We’ve been privileged to get to lead worship in small churches and large, campgrounds and conference centers, on beaches and cruise ships too. And wherever Jesus’ name is lifted up, we’ve encountered His presence.
Worship when there is no stage
But it’s in the quiet rooms with no stages, lights, livestream, or applause where worship leading is sweetest. The deepest wells of joy are discovered in living rooms and hospital rooms, together with people in hardship and dependence. And joy means a lot to us.
From the moment we are born, joy shapes the chemistry, structure and growth of our brain. Joy lays the foundation for how well we will handle relationships, emotions, pain and pleasure throughout our lifetime. Joy creates an identity that is stable and consistent over time. Joy gives us the freedom to share our hearts with God and others. Expressing our joyful identity creates space for others to belong. Joy gives us the freedom to live without masks because, in spite of our weaknesses, we know we are loved. We are not afraid of our vulnerabilities or exposure. Joy gives us the freedom from fear to live from the heart Jesus gave us. We discover increasing delight in becoming the people God knew we could be.
Joy Starts Here: The Transformation Zone
Worship through tears
You won’t get to hear these moments of ours. These are private moments of worship through tears – just for us and the Lord, as we build one another up. But I pray you have your own moments like these. Times where song bubbles up out of sadness as you declare dependence on the Joy-Giver, where the melody that carries the name of Jesus from your heart to His soothes your wounds and binds your hearts with trusted people. I pray sweetness surprises you and you are shaped for hope again.
Because you’re designed to let your difficult life experiences rest on a foundation of joy.
How can you ensure you are leading worship with joy (instead of giving up with defeat?)
Ok now. Some of you read that question and are just about to click away. Even if you don’t have a musical bone in your body, this post is for you too. Please stay. 🙂
Some of you would know that my main ministry role is as a worship pastor. I have held numerous roles within this realm, from volunteer, to paid staff, to a professor of worship. All of these roles have stretched me and taught me much about Christian worship. None has really stretched me as much as my current role. And it’s not the role itself, or the church (which I love!). Rather, it was the reality that I was ultimately the one responsible to encourage our congregation to come joyfully and fully to the Lord in worship, while in the middle of my own season of difficulty over the last eight months or so.
Rewind…
I’ve been through other troublesome seasons before as a worship leader. Like immediately after one of my husband’s best friends hit a moose with his car, dying instantly, and we had to lead worship at his funeral. Or that time five years ago when I had just spent several nights in the hospital learning to navigate a new Type 1 Diabetes reality with our 10-year-old daughter, only to wake up early the next morning (groggy) to an email announcing my fill-in worship leader for that morning’s chapel service had backed out. I remember being angry, yet not wanting to thrust anyone else into a last minute situation, and just crying in the shower. I was so mad at God for all my little girl was going through, exhausted from sleeping on an uncomfortable hospital cot, and overwhelmed by what was now only a 4-day reality for us that literally changed our lives.
But somehow, I was going to need to get up in front of our entire Bible College population and start leading worship with joy in less than two hours.
God met me right there in my frustration. He can always handle my anger at Him. And as I cried in the shower, He filled my mind with Truth. Scriptures came back to me. Songs welled up. And before I was even ready to drive to the chapel, I was excited to lead our people to worship. Because I realized again that He had never left us. I remembered His goodness. And I wanted to share that with other people so they could remember too. That morning stands out in my memory as one of the most powerful mornings of worship I have ever experienced in the hundreds, or maybe even thousands, of times I’ve led.
Leading Worship With Joy
(Instead of Giving Up in Defeat)
Who is a worship leader? What does a worship leader do? Most people would answer that question with descriptions including singing, playing an instrument, or leading from a platform into a microphone. And yes, in our church contexts, the vocational worship leader tends to do those things. But I would suggest there is more. There are more people called to lead worship than those of us who are skilled musically.
In fact, I would suggest that all Christians are called to be worship leaders. Because to lead worship with joy is to point the way for other people to worship Jesus. You don’t have to be musical to do that, now, do you? In fact, here are some of the ways Christians can lead other people to worship God:
share your story of meeting Jesus
send an encouraging text that reminds someone of God’s love
tell someone about God’s provision when you were in need
add chairs to your table and invite people into your home
create graphics that highlight truths about God and share them through social media
change the conversation to one that is uplifting when it wants to drift to negativity
visit someone who is experiencing difficulty and help them, reminding them of God’s presence
write out 10 reasons you are grateful and post it as your Facebook status
listen carefully when people talk to you, and tell them where you see God moving in their story
This is only scratching the surface. But I hope you can see that none of these scenarios involve music, yet all point other people to God. This is worship leading.
So What?
So what’s the big deal? Why am I even writing this post?
Well, because when life is tough, it’s really hard to do any of these things. It’s much easier to simply give up in defeat. It’s very tempting to a) share all the negatives, forgetting anything positive, or b) withdraw from people completely. But worship leading requires other people to be led. And it forces us to see through the negatives to realize the positives are still there, even if they seem to be in some other dimension.
And here’s the other reason. Every Christian is called to spur others on. All of us have the opportunity to be part of someone else’s spiritual formation story. How we choose to lead worship in our own lives will leave a legacy in someone else’s life. I want to leave a legacy of joy. I want to impact the lives of others by pressing in with faith through the difficulties and the desolate seasons in my own. Faith shows the reality of what we are hoping for even when we can’t see them yet. And I lead worship with joy when I trust and pursue what I believe to be true, and I let others know about it.
Leading worship with joy is incredibly vulnerable. It’s risky. But great faith takes risks on believing God. Because He will never disappoint.
I have several Christian friends facing very difficult things: broken marriages, family members in drug rehab, financial distress, foster children in precarious circumstances, health uncertainties. Each one of them can be tempted to despair at every turn. But instead, each of them is called to lead worship with joy.
In hospitals and police stations, on the phone and online, in private moments and very public ones, they each have the choice to lead worship with joy. Not to ignore their circumstances, but to lead through them. They have the opportunity to help other people be formed spiritually by how they choose to point to Christ in the everyday-ness of their lives. And the reality is, as they choose to praise God at all times, their own joy will be restored. Their eyes will open to God moving in their own circumstances, they will be strengthened to persevere, and they will radiate faith.
Our worship is our fight song. It is our weapon to defeat the enemy. It is how we engage in lifting our own heads to face the realities of our day head-on. Leading worship with joy is how we win against defeat.
So what about you?
How is God calling you to lead worship with joy? What tangible steps can you take today to point the way to Christ? What will it require of you? And how do you think you will grow through it?
I love it when people visit Joy Let Loose to read and then engage with me in the comments. Would you be willing to share a story of how you lead worship with joy in your life? And would you also be willing to share this post with people in your circles who could also learn to lead worship with joy? Let’s let joy loose together!
My husband and I have known for many years that God was calling us to enlarge our tent and expand our borders.
Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. (Isaiah 54:2-3)
The Rearview Mirror
We married at ages 22 and 26, and almost as soon as I became a wife, I became a Christian, and then a mother. We had our (fabulous!) children in years 2, 4, and 6 of our marriage. We started child sponsorship with Compassion right away, one per child. My mother-heart wanted to keep growing, and at that point, we fully expected to have more kiddos.
But then we didn’t.
By this time we had moved a few times for our ministry roles, and settled in to one of the most challenging and rewarding seasons of our life and ministry in northern Maine. This was right after our littlest had her first birthday.
(Look at all that cuteness! How could we not want more??)
But the next 6 years rocked and forever changed us.
Boundary Lines
The boundary lines of our lives were growing wider and our tent was being stretched further, but somehow I couldn’t see it. God wasn’t working how I expected Him to.
We began to explore what it meant for our family to expand our borders. If it didn’t mean more biological children, then it must mean adoption, right? A quick look into international adoption showed us that our immigration status at the time disqualified us. After all, we had recently entered a different country for my husband’s work. A quick perusal of domestic adoption looked like it held potential, but that door soon shut too.
I was confused and discouraged. Why did I have a desire to expand our family borders if in reality we wouldn’t be able to bring others into it?
Pure and Undefiled Religion
At about the same time, God was pressing in on us what worship looks like:
Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (James 1:27)
With this passage, God was igniting our hearts for orphans and widows even though no adoption doors were opening. We studied it, prayed it, and even wrote a song, “Undefiled Worship”, for our congregation. Then all of a sudden, two of the teens in our youth group were effectively abandoned by their family. Surely this was what God was preparing us for! We invited them into our home.
And they turned us down.
God’s Ways are Higher than Ours
We just couldn’t understand why we felt such a burden to enlarge our tents if God didn’t intend to increase our family borders. I confess I was ready to give up on God’s plans for us in this regard. And instead, we just threw ourselves into our ministries, and started filling our empty bedrooms with interns and missionaries. If God didn’t want to expand our borders, then we would.
But His ways are higher than ours. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. (Is 55:9)
Little did I realize, this was part of His plan all along.
We began what became a years-long arrangement to provide housing for students interning for ministry. And over time, several stayed with us for one year, two years, our home then becoming their home-base when back from the field.
And what started as a favor to a University we supported became a deeply rewarding facet of our family’s life.
We couldn’t have predicted how our hearts would enlarge to love these young adults.
We could not have expected our children to embrace an older “sister” and “brother” in this way. Our borders had expanded indeed.
Nothing is Up to “Chance”
Then a “chance” meeting with a couple from our church kindled the flame for enlarged borders even more. Even though we barely knew them, they came to our house to share with us her story of adoption. She had placed a child up for open adoption while in her late teens, and had been able to have an active role in his life as he had grown. We couldn’t have known that our “chance” meeting to hear about adoption was another part of our own border expansion. Because it was going to look so different than we could have predicted.
We began to grow closer to this couple, and to do ministry together. We celebrated the birth of their second son with them not long afterward.
And then tragedy struck in the form of a wintery accident, and we had a widow with two tiny boys to love.
Expand Our Borders
Nothing really prepares you for caring for widows and orphans. We just knew we were called to it. God had been whispering to us about it for months…years. And since caring for a young widow in her primary season of bewilderment and grief opens up so many opportunities for withdrawal, misunderstanding, and exhaustion, it is tempting to retreat. But God beckoned us into it, and she welcomed “family”.
We didn’t really know what we were doing, other than loving her and her boys. So we simply made our home their home whenever needed, and tried to listen more than we spoke. We made meals together, changed diapers, cried, and continually offered ourselves to the Lord to be used in their lives. Birthdays, holidays, and regular days were all shared. Our children became like siblings.
Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and months became years. And “Mondays” continued to be a constant for our families to be together.
She emerged from her grief a woman of strength and grace, and her boys triumphed as vivacious and strong bundles of energy and character. And their family ministered to ours over these years every bit as much as we did theirs. Our lives are exponentially richer for this season.
We could not have predicted how God would expand our borders when He began calling. And we would not change this season for the world.
And Now…
It is ten years since that tragic phone call, and both of our families have moved away from each other. Our hearts remain intertwined, our family borders blurred.
And God is calling us to enlarge our tent even more.
I no longer have a preconceived idea of what that might look like. For us it wasn’t having another child or being able to adopt one. Enlarging our tent has looked like:
Hosting people without family over the Christmas holidays
Bringing large groups of students in our home for meals and games
Loving our kiddos’ friends and bringing them on vacation with us
Sharing our faith
Hosting a life group
Friends-giving
Offering our vehicle for others to use
Grieving with those who grieve
Celebrating with those who celebrate
And reaching out to others for help and prayer when we’ve needed it most.
It has looked so different than I could ever have imagined.
For 2018
At this point, I simply open my hands to receive whatever might come our way. In these early hours of 2018, my prayer is that God would help me to continue to open my arms up wide. I pray He would expand our borders in whatever way brings Him most glory.
We will set extra places at our table, make extra beds, or walk with people through seasons of grief. We will have hard conversations, depend on the Lord to fill us with love, and hold people to accountability.
And we believe that as we expand our borders in this way, we will spread out to the right and left, and our joy will be let loose in the desolate corners of the world.
As we round the bend of November and Thanksgiving, I love that we immediately head towards December, with its Advent Joy for sharing this season. Our family looks forward to Christmas, but we have to be careful to slow down and lean in to the Advent season first, even as Christmas trappings swirl all around us. Our cultural Christmas screams that the holiday is already here in music, parties, and lights, but the Christian story of waiting is still unfolding in the quiet places.
Even in Christian circles, prioritizing Advent has become counter-cultural. As a worship leader, I can run headlong into aaallllll the stuff that is Christmas in church ministry, OR I can continually remind myself that my congregation needs the Advent wait too, just like my family does.
So, what is Advent?
Advent is actually the beginning of the Christian calendar year. It is the “reset” button for those who pattern their lives around the Story of Christ. And it is a time to reflect on what the anticipation for the Messiah was like 2000 years ago, and how much they needed God to send the Light of Life into a world of darkness. It also helps us to consider how our dark world still needs the breaking-in of Jesus, and to look forward to His return. Check out Seedbed for some helpful Advent history.
So, how does a family, or a church family, lean into Advent Joy in the middle of a Christmas-crazed culture?
Today I’m sharing 6 ways we can engage in the season of Advent this year.
6 Ways to Advent-Adventure this December
Share Joyful Blessings:
I actually started this one early. Beginning at Thanksgiving, I wanted to begin to look ahead to what Advent Joy there would be. Our church Life Group was hosting a “Friendsgiving” on the Saturday prior to Thanksgiving. (If you’ve never done a Friendsgiving, it is wellI worth your time and effort!)
Our Life Group (15 adult members in all) invited family, friends and neighbors to a huge pot luck Thanksgiving dinner at our home. These could be people who already know Jesus, or people who don’t. All are welcome. Each LG member brought a portion of the meal, and were able to seat all 42 people who came! At one point, several of us shared why we are grateful, including how Christ had transformed us.
My mother-in-law had given me 101 Blessings of Joy Cards – A Box of Blessings back in August, as an encouragement on my joy-journey.This seemed like a perfect time to bring them out. Each card holds 2 blessings, quotes, or Scripture verses (one on each side), to encourage others in their joy.
So, I decided to use these joy blessings in my table settings, drawing attention to them as we prayed for our meal. We encouraged people to read them and even use them as conversation starters. I know for me, this helped me begin to focus on the upcoming Advent Joy season. And these will also serve nicely at table settings all throughout the month of December.
2. Daily Advent Joy Readings
I love to shift my focus in the month of December. I try to be purposeful about what I read that helps me to engage with Advent Joy. This year, I picked up John Piper’s The Dawning of Indestructible Joy: Daily Readings for Advent, an inexpensive little paperback that I sense is loaded with power. Piper’s reason for writing it was that He was praying for an experience of Christ’s fullness. Wow, do I ever want that too!!
That is my prayer for you this Christmas–that you would experience the fullness of Christ; that you would know in your heart the outpouring of grace upon grace; that the glory of the only Son from the Father would shine into your heart to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ; that you would be amazed that Christ can be so real to you. – J. Piper
Though I haven’t yet started the readings–I’ll begin on December 3rd, the first Sunday of Advent–I anticipate that the Lord will use these in my life.
3. Advent Wreath
As our family grows, we find it increasingly important (and difficult!) to make space for family meals around the table. Throughout the month of December, we will use our mealtime together to light Advent candles in our wreath. The Dawning of Indestructible Joy may serve us well for readings in the evenings, to focus us all together. But there are other valuable resources as well.
Last year, we used Kaylene yoder’s Names of Jesus Advent Pack on as many evenings as we could be together, and found them very helpful. I wrote about it here. We would accompany the readings with the lighting of candles, adding one more each week of Advent.
This morning, I posted the first of 4 blog posts I am doing for Waterline Church, where I am the Director of Relational Arts. We are calling these our Advent Adventures.
We were looking for a way to help our church family engage with the Advent Joy of the season. So I am creating this series with the twofold purpose. They will teach more about Advent. And they will give people (of all ages) tangible “adventures” to take. We pray that we will all slow down and experience the joy and hope of the season. Especially if we do these simple activities with our families and friends. I’d invite you to head over here to see if they might be activities you could incorporate into your December family activities.
5. #GiveJoy Challenge
A friend and Joy Let Loose reader recently shared a great resource with me that I’d like to pass along to you today. It is called the #GiveJoy Challenge 2017 from Amy Pike. I love it because it is designed for families. I think it will help parents and children alike to look beyond themselves this Christmas, and to look for ways to let joy loose this Christmas. That is something I can definitely get behind!!
Amy’s #GiveJoy challenge 2017 offers families 28 challenges, complete with instructions for each day. Obviously, you can pick and choose to go at your family’s pace. But there is something for every day of Advent if you are up for it. And you’ll find opportunities to share joy with friends & family, community members, and service professionals. Why not join Amy and spread a little joy this Advent?
6. Life Skills
Practically speaking, the Advent Joy season is a preparation time for Christmas. And we all know we generally have a lot to do to get ready! One group I’ve chosen to come alongside here at Joy Let Loose is Skill Trek.
I love their taglines! There is “Lifeproofing the next generation like nothing else”. And “Making ’em ready for anything”. Skill Trek has been designed for parents, to assist in learning important life skills that generally aren’t taught in schools. They have fun adventures for kids of all ages in everything from hygiene and cooking, to financial literacy and emergency preparedness. And they offer varying levels of digital curriculum for families of different budgets.
One thing I recently learned about from Skill Trek is The 12 Skills of Christmas, a seasonal curriculum they offer. Since Christmas prep is so busy, why not pull everyone into the festivities? We can help them learn to prepare holiday menus (including turkey!). Or organize a neighborhood cookie exchange, or create their own Advent calendar? It’s on sale right now, so it’s a great time to pick up this fun curriculum to help you organize and teach your kiddos this season.
I hope that this post inspires you to actively engage in the Advent season with your family. There are many ways, even beyond the regular holiday festivities. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below if you do try any of these ideas, or if you have some great family Advent traditions we should know about here atJoy Let Loose!
