The New Year brings lots of hope for change, but often convinces us to make unreasonable promises to ourselves. This year, let’s simplify and commit to repeated small steps toward our ultimate purpose.
I pray that you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends, and that you have experienced the nearness of Emmanuel this season.
As we enter the New Year, we are often tempted to make huge (sometimes unreasonable) promises to ourselves, unwittingly setting ourselves up to fail.
I don’t want that for you.
Instead, I pray that you stay close to the heart of the Father, asking Him for guidance. I pray that you are intentional to simplify your activities. I pray that you are reasonable and purposeful in setting one daily and one weekly action step that help lead toward your goals, seeking accountability from someone who will help you stay on track.
I pray that in this next season you make the choice to invest in your wellness and your future by trusting a coach who hears from the Lord and desires to help you unlock your purpose.
You can find out more about how I help people with their life purpose right here.
7 helpful tasks for the first week of 2022
An Irish Blessing
May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
May God be with you and bless you: May you see your children’s children. May you be poor in misfortune, Rich in blessings. May you know nothing but happiness From this day forward.
May the road rise up to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home And may the hand of a friend always be near.
May green be the grass you walk on, May blue be the skies above you, May pure be the joys that surround you, May true be the hearts that love you
How important is it that we say ‘thank you?’ Yes, it’s one of those politeness principles we learn as children, but is it important for us to carry that into our adult lives?
One of my favorite quotes is this: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.” (Melody Beattie)
At Joy Let Loose, I am fueled by the calling to light up the world with JOY. To find joy and to walk in it myself, but to also let it loose for others to walk in too. And I find that one of the very best ways to experience and walk in JOY is to give it away. That’s what prompts me to create Joy Challenges on my Facebook page. It what encourages me to invite people into my Young Living tribe. And it’s what keeps me coming back here to write.
So how can we make a practice of being grateful and sharing our gratitude with others? How can we appreciate people and say “thank you” in ways that are significant to them, so that we are letting JOY loose in their lives?
Giving JOY away so often looks simply like gratitude. And “gratitude unlocks the fullness of life…” What a beautiful, joyful circle that creates.
I’ve compiled a list of seven ways we can appreciate people and say “thank You.’ It is by no means exhaustive. But it is intended to help us all get started. And it’s possible you haven’t thought about some of these as a form of gratitude before. I would love to hear in the comments below which of these you found helpful. How did you use these ideas to let JOY loose? Or what other creative ideas would you add?
Know their names
At our church we all wear name tags. We often say that all relationships begin by learning someone’s name. Now, there are a few exceptions to that rule. Children are sometimes more than content to play for hours alongside a new pal whose name they did not think to learn. And some people build virtual relationships with pseudonyms and avatars. But for the most part, we begin relationships by exchanging names.
Have you ever noticed how meaningful it is to re-encounter someone you’ve met only once and have them remember your name? Chances are, if this is important to you, it is also important to others. It shows people that they are:
Seen
Respected
Valuable
But not everyone excels at this. I don’t. Sometimes I think my memory is like a dream – it’s sort of still there, but kind of vague and just outside my grasp. So, how can you hone this skill and show people they are meaningful to you by remembering their name?
Speak it. On that first encounter, say their name to their face several times within the confines of your conversation. Your voice + their face will add a memory peg
Tell someone. Immediately after your first meeting, tell someone about it. “Hey, I just met so-and-so. Do you know her?” This is like rehearsal.
Reach out. Let them know you were glad to meet them, even through a quick Facebook message. This will force you to look them up, and repeat their name again. And I’m sure when you say “glad to meet you,” they will hear you say thank you. It will demonstrate gratitude in and of itself.
Take an interest
Another way to say thank you is to take an interest in them. Taking an interest is to learn someone’s name, and then to want to know more. It’s to press past the obligatory “Hello, how are you? Great!” as you breeze by with barely a glance. It’s stopping, looking in eyes, and engaging. It’s moving beyond acquaintance and creating friend.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, ‘If you want to love me, love my kids,’ then this is a similar premise. If you want to truly show people that you appreciate them, take note of their lives. Find common interest. Ask about their family. Follow up on the things they tell you about. Stepping into someone’s world says “I value you.”
Write a Letter
Remember the days before texts, emails and DMs when letters would arrive in your mailbox? With real stamps and return addresses and everything? And do you remember how exciting it was to tear those open?
Letter writing is kind of a lost art. But the excitement of opening a handwritten letter is not lost on us. In fact, in our insta-world, it may even be more meaningful that someone took the time to choose the card/notepaper, address the envelope, select the right postage, and get it into the mailbox. The person who did that for you thought about you that whole time. They appreciate you.
Now, go be that person.
Voice text or phone call
This past month I took a leadership development challenge with my business. I thoroughly enjoyed it. One of the most valuable things I realized was how meaningful voice-to-voice contact in. Again, we operate in such a text-based and instant world, that the warmth of voice is often lost. So I started using the phone more. And I started sending voice texts instead of just texting. Every single person who received a voice text from me over the last few weeks has mentioned how meaningful it was to hear my voice.
Go the extra mile and add warmth to your connections.
Invite them in
Ready for another “extra mile”? One incredible way to say thank you to people and to help them to feel valuable is to expand your family borders and open your home to them. If the very thought of that makes you panic, don’t worry. Most people are more focused on the gratitude they feel to get to share life with you than they are on your clutter and dust. I promise.
We are made for relationship. We aren’t made to do life alone. But so many people are starved for relationship that they don’t know the first thing about living life in community. And yet, bringing people into community can say thank you so much more loudly than most other things. So why not take a chance, offer an invite, be okay with the state of your house, and add to its warmth and love by expanding your borders to invite them in?
Listen
It has become apparent to me over the years that listening is actually one of my skills. I know this because:
Most of my closest friends are talkers 🙂
My natural go-to is to ask questions, not make statements
People regularly thank me for listening
I struggle with feeling like people don’t want to listen to me (I doubt this is always true, and believe it is a place where I actively need to replace a lie with the truth. But sometimes our weaknesses accuse our strengths, right?
We all have an intrinsic desire to be known. And being known happens through patient exploration. There is incredible joy in knowing that if we love God, we are known by Him. (1 Cor. 8:3) And there is also incredible joy in knowing that we are known by others. When I listen to people, I ask God to increase my capacity to care about what they care about, and to help them to feel valuable. To feel known. That’s it.
Stay off your devices. Look people in the eye. Listen. Ask questions and leave space for them to answer them. This is a huge way to show your gratitude for them and say thank you.
Pray
I’m afraid this is one of those suggestions that may come across either as a no-brainer, or as an “every-Christian-says-they’ll-pray-but-do-they-ever-actually’? kind of things.
If you’ve never offered to pray for someone. Do it. And then actually do it. If you’ve offered to, but then forgotten to, do it. Actually do it.
There is no greater partnership you can make with someone than to lock arms with them by seeking the Lord on their behalf.
Two suggestions to help with establishing this as an intentional habit:
Pray right away – instead of telling someone you’ll pray for them, and then walking away or hanging up the phone, pray right then. Praying in the moment, out loud, with the person you are praying for is an incredible way to say thank you for their life and friendship.
Create a prayer journal – Start an evening habit of reminding yourself who you offered to pray for throughout your day. Write them in your prayer journal, along with a context clue about what you want to pray about. When prayers are answered, go back and update!
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.
Melody Beattie
People are worth the investment. Friendship is worth working on. Those manners we learned as children are still relevant for us as adults, and we have the incredible opportunity to unlock the fullness of life by being grateful. How will you say thank you today and let JOY loose?
Our family moved into a new home in a new neighborhood. And then one week later, we left.
One step forward, two steps back…
Actually, we left for vacation – 26 hours of driving back to what still feels like home, but isn’t, and to places where our history still tugs on our heartstrings, but can’t be our present reality
The relief of welcoming arms, long-term friendships, and family relationships embraced us like the salty air: cool, comfortable, and without pretense.
When life changes happen (like a ministry move, a significant loss, or a job transfer) a new normal is thrust upon us. We have an immediate choice to adapt – or not. Depending on the circumstances, we can choose to dive in to the starting–over of life, and the writing of a new chapter. Or we can resist by clinging to what once was.
We’ve moved a lot in the twenty years we have been married. I’ll be the first to admit that, in my twenties, these moves were exciting. My husband and I lived on the precipice of adventure when we were young. We looked at ministry relocation and a new home with great anticipation.
But as I’ve gotten older, (and now that we have moved away several times from people and jobs we have loved dearly), I have a keen sense of the amount of energy it takes to start life all over again.
And this is kind of where I have sat for the past 11 months since we started over…again.
Two new houses (first a rental, now our own), new neighborhoods, new ministry, new country… Each footstep has felt measured, like it just might take the last bit of energy that I have.
But I’ve still taken the steps…
I’ve had to, otherwise I would sink under the weight of my own resistance.
So, how do you make a new home when circumstances dictate that you can’t stay where you’ve been? Here are some key steps I take. In fact, I will be taking many of these as soon as we get back to our new home from vacationing at our old one…
Seven Crucial Steps to Make a New Home
Tie Some Ribbons Before You Leave
The reality is that things don’t stay the same. The people you are leaving behind will keep on living and changing, just like you will. As you prepare to move, wrestle with the sadness of leaving, and allow some closure to come to your relationships.
A few will rise to the surface as friendships you will be willing to cultivate from a distance over the long haul. You’ll know which ones those are. For the rest, spend time thanking God for the season you’ve had together, and have open conversations that display your gratitude for the relationship you’ve had.
Give yourself permission to tie a bow on this segment of your life before moving on.
Drive, Walk, Sit
If you have the luxury of time to house hunt, and the ability to spend time in your new area for a bit, take advantage of it! Drive all over, walk through neighborhoods, sit in parks. What personality do different areas have? Where do you feel the most you?
I was fortunate enough to be able to pair house-hunting with teaching one of my sons to drive. With a willing chauffeur who needed to accrue driving hours, we ran the roads and got a great feel for the areas that felt most like us.
God is already in this next season ahead of you, and He can place people perfectly. Be patient to seek Him in this. Drive, walk, and sit until He shows you where to put down your roots.
Allow Yourself to Dream of your New Home
There are always things to feel a little nervous about when heading into a new chapter. But don’t allow fear of the unknown to overshadow your hopes of what might be. Be proactive to dream. Joy comes in the morning.
What stages of life will you (and your family members if you have them) potentially celebrate in this new home? Is this going to be a developing season, or a simplifying one? What milestones might be coming up in the next few months or years? Ask God the help birth dreams in your heart and mind for what is to come.
Once you figure out where to live, let your imagination run wild about how to permeate your home with your personality. Large renos or small DIY projects give you permission to invest your heart and soul into your new home. Joanna Gaines is my hero in this regard, sharing great insights about it in The Magnolia Story. Whether you are a professional decorator or not, let your personality shine!
Consider Your Potential Impact
It’s so easy to approach a move to a new home with a list of our own needs. But what if we came to it from the standpoint of the potential impact we might have there? Could God have a specific community for us to pour into?
Spend time considering what gifts you bring to the table. How might you most naturally impact the people in the neighboring apartments or houses at your new home?
Check out The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door to get an awesome perspective about your call to your neighbors. What new relationships might God be preparing for this next season of life? Where might God want us to let joy loose? When we approach home shopping from the perspective of our potential impact in addition to our own needs, I guarantee we will look at our neighborhoods with different eyes.
Ask and Listen
People love to be heard. Your new neighbors all have stories they’ve lived and stories their lives are still writing. The very best thing you can do to show them value is to learn them. Ask questions, and pay rapt attention to their answers. You are being written in.
And come to these conversations prepared to share a bit of yourself too. If the people around your new home are people God has placed in your life, it’s easier to dive right in than to let the awkward silence happen…you totally know what I mean! 🙂
Allow Yourself to Re-visit
From my moving experiences, it’s best not to return to the place you’ve left right away. But it is important to re-visit at some point, if you are able. I’d recommend waiting at least a year.
Two things are important about this return:
1) It is a good touch-point with people you know and love. It allows you to be able to share, face-to-face, what God has been doing in your lives.
2) It also helps you see the reality that things don’t stay the same. The place and people you left are not frozen in time, waiting for you to come back. Seeing that they’ve moved on gives permission for you to do so as well.
Learn From Where You’ve Been
Some of us have moved a dozen or more times. Others have planted deep roots and intend to remain forever. Still, change may be coming. And either way, the past not only impacts our future, it prepares us for it.
What things about your former home did you love that you can bring to your new home? What life changes can you make right now for this new season? What mistakes can inform your next steps, and what best practices can you bring forward?
Learn from where you’ve been, but embrace the adventure of the road ahead.
One Step Forward…
Sometimes change is thrust upon us. We usually have a choice about how to respond to it. Whatever it is that brings about the move to a new home, find God in it. His joy will be there too. Each of these seven steps may need to be taken one at a time, but each will help in the process of discovering a new normal in a new chapter. So start by taking that first step; it’s exciting to consider what God might do.
Your turn: What advice do you have for people getting ready to settle in to a new normal in a new home? Comment below!
The weekend is here, which means it’s time for Friday Fun onJoy Let Loose!This week I was remembering a Fancy Progressive Dinner my husband and I were part of many years ago. And I thought, “Why on earth have we not done that again?!” Because it was REALLY fun!
So because I want to do it again, I want to share it with you and invite you to think about doing it too!
Fancy Progressive Dinner
First, start by planning out your guest list. Who would really get into something like this? Is there a family you are trying to get to know? Add them in! This will work best with about four couples (or families) who live relatively close to each other.
Family #1 provides their home and the appetizers from 5:30-6:15pm
Family #2 provides the main course at their home from 6:30-8:00pm
Family #3 provides dessert and coffee a their home from 8:15-9:15pm
Family #4 provides their home & munchies/games from 9:30-end.
It’s going to be Fancy! So let’s pull out our best dishes and put on our fanciest clothes for a night on the “town”.
The Menu
Next, work together with the other people (a week or two in advance) to co-ordinate your menu. You want to find items that complement each other well, but also have options that work for everyone. Once the items are finalized, create menu cards to display on each table. I’ve created a sample menu you can use if you like it!
A while back, I posted about Family Traditions. Several of them could come in to play with this Friday Fun activity, including helping your kids learn how to properly set the table, and having conversation starters at each house. After all, it is never too early (or too late!) to learn proper etiquette, and the safety of friends’ homes is a great place for that. Also, spills and broken dishes are always forgivable; lifelong lessons need practice.
There are as many ways to do a Fancy Progressive Dinner as there are people to dream them up. Get creative! Here are just a few ideas to start you off:
Base your evening on a Roaring Twenties theme, complete with swing jazz, mint juleps, and Gatsby-inspired fonts.
Follow an Indian theme, including flavorful curries and sweet punjabi lassi.
Make it a black-tie night, and make all of your decor black & white.
Incorporate a mystery party that requires numerous locations.
The possibilities are endless!
Fancy Progressive Dinner Follow-Up
Finally, it’s always a great idea to follow up a dinner party with a proper “Thank You!” And in this case, where several families had to open their homes and provide part of the meal, I’d suggest it is a definite must! Allow leftover menu cards to double as Thank You notes, and pop them in the mail 1-2 days after the event. Because the more you can show people value, the more they are built up. And the more people are encouraged to open their homes and build community, the more they will desire it. After all, it’s in the little things that we often discover joy. And it’s in community that we best let our joy loose.
It’s your turn: Have you done a progressive dinner before? What ideas do you have? Leave a note in the comments below.
We drove 26 hours to arrive at our new home. (That didn’t necessarily inspire me to share joy.) The twenty-six hours from Atlantic Canada to the Midwest were punctuated with traffic, laughter, phone calls about school enrollment, tears about leaving our sweet dog behind, pit stops, and the occasional complaint about broken air conditioning in August. It was trip to remember. The day we arrived with all of our belongings was the first day we actually saw our new home not on a screen. The close proximity of the adjacent houses made it clear we were going to get to make some new acquaintances, or even friends.
I wasn’t sure I wanted that.
My heart simultaneously mourned the loss of friends in our former town(s) and cowered within with a case of magnified introversion at the thought of the process of meeting another whole new community of people. Ministry and moving can take a toll. I reasoned to myself that this was merely a one-year lease, a stopping place on the way to our real new home. I was not thinking about how to share joy.
But within just a few hours of our arrival, we had already met folks on either side and across the street, learned about our neighborhood’s love of driveway parties, and received a plate of yummy cookies with water bottles to keep us going as we unloaded the truck. This resistant and displaced heart was soothed by welcome. That our neighbors would choose to walk the few feet it actually took to bridge the miles I felt between us spoke loudly to me.
You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
I’ll be honest: sometimes I find it really hard to take those few steps. I often need a whole lot of mental prep to walk into new places with new people. Each person is different in that respect, and that’s part of my different. Sometimes I wonder why God calls introverts into ministry. It’s crazy to me how often it seems I’m thrust into life situations so challenging to that part of my nature.
