Why is it that some people seem so focused and purposeful, and that I feel so chaotic and overwhelmed? If I hire a life coach, how would it help me live with greater purpose?
I used to think that to hire a Life Coach was a dumb idea. Why in the world would I spend money to get someone to tell me how to do my life? “I am decent at living – don’t really need help with that, thank you very much.” Ha!
Well, hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it?
At some point along the way, sitting in the middle of a fog of depression, lack of motivation and clarity, I realized I probably could have used help sooner.
How did I even get here?
Well, my pride had gotten the best of me, making me think I could figure out my life and purpose on my own. I didn’t want anyone’s help.
Looking in the rearview mirror, I see that I missed the clues that could have shown me it was a good idea to hire a Life Coach.
Do you see any of these clues? Friend, don’t ignore them like I did, ok?
Ooff. Anyone else realize how much we idolize busyness? Like full agendas and breathlessness are virtues or something. Almost like if we aren’t over-scheduled, we’re not doing it right.
When was the last time you looked at your calendar from a position of peace, and not from a place of perpetuity or pandemonium? (Do you like all the alliterations?)
Friend, ask yourself these honest questions:
Get curious about those.
This relates to #1, but it’s not entirely the same. Chaos and overwhelm are regular companions.
Chaos: a state in which everything is out of order
Overwhelm: incapacitating emotional or mental stress
Do either (or both) of those sound familiar? Things out of order & disorganized? The inability to move because everything is tooo stressful?
This is not how you were created to live, friend. This does not reflect the peace and the joy that Christ offers to us in this life.
Your life coach can ask gentle, hard questions to help you to uncover what’s behind these things, and point you in a healthy direction forward. We don’t need to live in fight, freeze, or flight mode.
You’re not alone in this one. I’ve actually found that far more businesses than individuals can articulate a mission statement.
A mission statement actually points us out of chaos. It helps us align our direction with our values. Developing one is honestly one of the most clarifying tools I have found in building a life of joy and purpose.
Mamas. Motherhood is a beautiful gift. And with the number of friends I know who yearn for the opportunity, I sometimes struggle to call moms out of the crowd for fear of hurting someone else.
But mamas – we know that motherhood is a gift, and also so hard. And it’s so easy to get lost in the busyness and the mundane day-in-day-out of it. And when multiple kiddos rule our every moment, we sometimes forget to function as unique individuals. We can’t think, we can’t stay rested or tidy, and the goal of keeping everyone alive and fed so easily takes over every other thing.
It also often lures us into escape mode, which is definitely not ideal.
Because God created us even before He created our kids. And we have unique passions, gifts, and skills that are not only meant for our families, but for people outside of our families as well. We are made for community, and we have special roles to play in the community to bless others, and for advancement of the Kingdom.
If we limit ourselves to just our homes for the period of 18-25 years or so that we have our brood growing under our roofs, we will easily lose sight of the impact we can simultaneously have on people outside of our homes.
(PS This is not a SAHM vs Working Mom convo. This is a purposeful woman convo – and purposeful women can work outside the home or stay at home. It comes down to living with intentionality into the specific thing God calls us to.)
You just don’t have to put it off until the kids are grown.
This relates closely to #4, but is definitely not only for moms.
Maybe you aren’t even sure what your unique value-add in the world would be. You haven’t necessarily clarified for yourself what it is about you that makes you you. You aren’t sure what it is that you could do, or how you could live on purpose to make a difference in someone else’s life. You have a sense that there is more, but you’re not sure what it is
A Life Coach is uniquely called and qualified to help you uncover these things about yourself so you can be set loose to radiate.
Oh gosh, friend! We are invited to dream with clarity, with imagination, with vivid color! Our God is so creative. And if we are made in His image (spoiler alert: we ARE) then that means we get to dream about our future and joyfully plan for it; Not obscure, vague dreams, but clear, on-purpose ones.
If you aren’t sure how to give yourself this kind of permission, it’s time to hire a life coach who can really help you get out of your head and into the world!
You know those people who seem to thrive at life? Or who seem to be able to create the exact life that they want to live, blending vocation seamlessly with passion?
Maybe they are working from home or on the road, and it never seems like “work”.
Maybe they are visiting lots of fantastic places.
Maybe they are having a crazy meaningful impact on people, doing what really makes them thrive, and makes the people around them light up.
–> How do you think they got to build that kind of life? Not accidentally, I assure you.
Instead, they decided that their future self was worth investing in now.
They decided that fear and insecurity weren’t going keep them stuck anymore in a place of discontentment.
They got brave, challenged their uncertainties, became creative about resources, and dove in.
(And they aren’t looking back, are they?)
That kind of confident, vibrant, meaningful living isn’t just for a select few – in fact, I believe it’s really the way we are intended to live. God created us to be masterpieces, and He created good works for us to do.
With such a kind, vibrant, colorful, imaginative, and abundant God, I just can’t see that He meant for us to live in gray monotony. It doesn’t fit His character.
You know what? Transition doesn’t have to be scary. It can actually be a thrilling gateway to something new.
But it does take wisdom and care to proceed. And it often takes another perspective to help us see past our blind spots. It takes the nudging and confidence boosting from a third party (or even a couple of third parties) to help us quell the limitations and do. the. thing.
Life Coaching and Purpose
I became a Life Coach because I truly believe that we are made to thrive at life, and that a purposeful, colorful life now is possible as we build a joyful & lasting legacy.
I love to come alongside women to ask the questions and help them move from chaos and overwhelm into simplicity and insane purpose.
I love to help women create the calendar that makes them light up, do the things that they love that most fully radiate who God created them to be.
If you are curious at all about what it would look like for you to get brave now to invest in your soon-to-be future self and hire a life coach, man alive, I’d LOVE to dream about that with you!
I’m easy to find right here, and it would be my JOY to talk about this with you!
Do you ever catch sight of something and get transported back in time in an instant? That happened to me today. It was the yellow boots I saw in the store.
My son, Morgan, was about 4 when he inherited some boots just like these from a bigger kid he looked up to. He. Loved. Them. He wore them everywhere, and there was never a pair of boots that more accurately expressed his sunshiney personality.
Morgan had such a big and joyful presence that you could feel him coming. These were just right. (Plus yellow was always his favorite color.) But then one Fall day he lost them. Worse than that, we almost lost him.
He was out with friends and their dads fishing for the afternoon. All was awesome – they were just stopping to fish along the lakeshore as they walked. The kiddos took off quite a bit ahead of the dads and then stopped again. It really was quick, but little Morgan accidentally tumbled in, yellow boots and all, and the drop-off was significant. I’ve heard from his dad that it felt like an eternity to get to him and when they did he was really struggling.
I’ll tell you what: Superdads are a real thing. I didn’t want to re-live that snapshot, but there were those yellow boots in the store today.
But instead of making me feel sad and experience the anxiety again, it actually turned me to gratitude.
What about you? Do you have difficult memories that you can turn around to praise today? How will you bless the Lord at all times?
I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
(Psalm 63:4)
It’s time for those pesky New Year’s Resolutions again. As a blogger, I have the (un)fortunate opportunity to be reminded of previous New Year’s resolutions I’ve put out there in black and white for all to see. All it takes is a little scrolling for me to remember that I talked about enlarging our borders in 2018 and pursuing JOY in 2017. And I feel almost a little sorry for my then-self, who clearly had no idea about the dark corners and jagged cliffs those years would hold. Crisis and fear prowled around waiting to devour innocent resolve, and I had no clue what was coming. Did that make me naive, I wonder? Should I have not bothered?
My flesh a little bit says ‘yes’, but my spirit says, ‘NO!’ (Emphatically, in her biggest girl voice.)
Indeed, I still think it is important to make New Year’s Resolutions. Why bother? And what are mine for 2019? Thank you for asking. 🙂
Well, I believe goal-setting helps us turn the page with purpose. New Year’s resolutions help us to be more strategic about how we face what is before us. A strategy, according to Merriam-Webster, “is a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim.” According to Forbes, it is “a framework for making decisions…” It helps us to consider the “why” of our lives as we enter the new year, so we can then chart the course of the “how.” Of course, we all know the challenge of remaining disciplined. But perhaps the gravity and importance of the resolution–its why–may help us. Anything worth becoming is worth working for.
Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible. (Albert Einstein)
Of course, reasonable resolutions may seem more possible than absurd ones. But the absurd are the places where imagination and creativity reside. Where passion and drive pulse.
Let me recount a little about my resolution to pursue JOY in 2017-18. What I thought I would find was more laughter, more light-heartedness, more jovial times. Instead, though, what I found was more steadfastness in pain, more patience in crisis, and a greater ability to remain constant in chaos. In fact, the jovial and light-hearted moments of this year were few and far between, and seemed almost to punctuate sadness. Was this the JOY I was looking for?
Well, no. And yes.
It wasn’t the JOY I was hoping for, but it was JOY that I found.
Paul reminds the Romans to “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12). Interesting how closely he places joy and hope to affliction and prayer. Hmmmm. Almost as if that’s where joy tends to reside.
He had also pleaded with the Philippians: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: ‘Rejoice!’ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:4-7) Notable, again, how near joy sits to anxiousness and need. And that rejoicing is possible at all times.
Back in February of 2017 I wrote about the artificial division we Christians sometimes make between JOY and HAPPINESS. And I considered how God intended them to be intertwined, though they aren’t identical in nature. So now I sit and think about how fleeting moments of happiness have seemed this year, even though I have consistently been strengthened by the JOY of the Lord.
Was I perhaps more strategic in 2018 about pursuing JOY in my need than I was about pursuing HAPPINESS?
But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. (Psalm 68:3)
In 2019 I am going to be more strategic to choose happy. I am going to look for happiness, document happiness, celebrate happiness, and promote happiness. Through my writing, my leading, my business building, my whatever, I believe I can find the promised happiness of the Lord as I continue to choose joy.
How about you? Do you have a word for 2019? Share in the comments below how you resolve to pursue it in this coming year.