Why is it that some people seem so focused and purposeful, and that I feel so chaotic and overwhelmed? If I hire a life coach, how would it help me live with greater purpose?
I used to think that to hire a Life Coach was a dumb idea. Why in the world would I spend money to get someone to tell me how to do my life? “I am decent at living – don’t really need help with that, thank you very much.” Ha!
Well, hindsight is 20/20, isn’t it?
At some point along the way, sitting in the middle of a fog of depression, lack of motivation and clarity, I realized I probably could have used help sooner.
How did I even get here?
Well, my pride had gotten the best of me, making me think I could figure out my life and purpose on my own. I didn’t want anyone’s help.
Looking in the rearview mirror, I see that I missed the clues that could have shown me it was a good idea to hire a Life Coach.
Do you see any of these clues? Friend, don’t ignore them like I did, ok?
Ooff. Anyone else realize how much we idolize busyness? Like full agendas and breathlessness are virtues or something. Almost like if we aren’t over-scheduled, we’re not doing it right.
When was the last time you looked at your calendar from a position of peace, and not from a place of perpetuity or pandemonium? (Do you like all the alliterations?)
Friend, ask yourself these honest questions:
Get curious about those.
This relates to #1, but it’s not entirely the same. Chaos and overwhelm are regular companions.
Chaos: a state in which everything is out of order
Overwhelm: incapacitating emotional or mental stress
Do either (or both) of those sound familiar? Things out of order & disorganized? The inability to move because everything is tooo stressful?
This is not how you were created to live, friend. This does not reflect the peace and the joy that Christ offers to us in this life.
Your life coach can ask gentle, hard questions to help you to uncover what’s behind these things, and point you in a healthy direction forward. We don’t need to live in fight, freeze, or flight mode.
You’re not alone in this one. I’ve actually found that far more businesses than individuals can articulate a mission statement.
A mission statement actually points us out of chaos. It helps us align our direction with our values. Developing one is honestly one of the most clarifying tools I have found in building a life of joy and purpose.
Mamas. Motherhood is a beautiful gift. And with the number of friends I know who yearn for the opportunity, I sometimes struggle to call moms out of the crowd for fear of hurting someone else.
But mamas – we know that motherhood is a gift, and also so hard. And it’s so easy to get lost in the busyness and the mundane day-in-day-out of it. And when multiple kiddos rule our every moment, we sometimes forget to function as unique individuals. We can’t think, we can’t stay rested or tidy, and the goal of keeping everyone alive and fed so easily takes over every other thing.
It also often lures us into escape mode, which is definitely not ideal.
Because God created us even before He created our kids. And we have unique passions, gifts, and skills that are not only meant for our families, but for people outside of our families as well. We are made for community, and we have special roles to play in the community to bless others, and for advancement of the Kingdom.
If we limit ourselves to just our homes for the period of 18-25 years or so that we have our brood growing under our roofs, we will easily lose sight of the impact we can simultaneously have on people outside of our homes.
(PS This is not a SAHM vs Working Mom convo. This is a purposeful woman convo – and purposeful women can work outside the home or stay at home. It comes down to living with intentionality into the specific thing God calls us to.)
You just don’t have to put it off until the kids are grown.
This relates closely to #4, but is definitely not only for moms.
Maybe you aren’t even sure what your unique value-add in the world would be. You haven’t necessarily clarified for yourself what it is about you that makes you you. You aren’t sure what it is that you could do, or how you could live on purpose to make a difference in someone else’s life. You have a sense that there is more, but you’re not sure what it is
A Life Coach is uniquely called and qualified to help you uncover these things about yourself so you can be set loose to radiate.
Oh gosh, friend! We are invited to dream with clarity, with imagination, with vivid color! Our God is so creative. And if we are made in His image (spoiler alert: we ARE) then that means we get to dream about our future and joyfully plan for it; Not obscure, vague dreams, but clear, on-purpose ones.
If you aren’t sure how to give yourself this kind of permission, it’s time to hire a life coach who can really help you get out of your head and into the world!
You know those people who seem to thrive at life? Or who seem to be able to create the exact life that they want to live, blending vocation seamlessly with passion?
Maybe they are working from home or on the road, and it never seems like “work”.
Maybe they are visiting lots of fantastic places.
Maybe they are having a crazy meaningful impact on people, doing what really makes them thrive, and makes the people around them light up.
–> How do you think they got to build that kind of life? Not accidentally, I assure you.
Instead, they decided that their future self was worth investing in now.
They decided that fear and insecurity weren’t going keep them stuck anymore in a place of discontentment.
They got brave, challenged their uncertainties, became creative about resources, and dove in.
(And they aren’t looking back, are they?)
That kind of confident, vibrant, meaningful living isn’t just for a select few – in fact, I believe it’s really the way we are intended to live. God created us to be masterpieces, and He created good works for us to do.
With such a kind, vibrant, colorful, imaginative, and abundant God, I just can’t see that He meant for us to live in gray monotony. It doesn’t fit His character.
You know what? Transition doesn’t have to be scary. It can actually be a thrilling gateway to something new.
But it does take wisdom and care to proceed. And it often takes another perspective to help us see past our blind spots. It takes the nudging and confidence boosting from a third party (or even a couple of third parties) to help us quell the limitations and do. the. thing.
Life Coaching and Purpose
I became a Life Coach because I truly believe that we are made to thrive at life, and that a purposeful, colorful life now is possible as we build a joyful & lasting legacy.
I love to come alongside women to ask the questions and help them move from chaos and overwhelm into simplicity and insane purpose.
I love to help women create the calendar that makes them light up, do the things that they love that most fully radiate who God created them to be.
If you are curious at all about what it would look like for you to get brave now to invest in your soon-to-be future self and hire a life coach, man alive, I’d LOVE to dream about that with you!
I’m easy to find right here, and it would be my JOY to talk about this with you!
When you choose to show up in another person’s life, you may leave a forever imprint.
You showing up lets joy loose. So where are you showing up today?
This gentleman, Othillo, was an immigrant into Canada from the Czech Republic. He became a close friend of my parents’ back in the early 1970’s.
He and his wife didn’t have children, but they treated my older sister and me like their own.
Othillo had endless jokes, laughter, energy, and the kind of creativity we absolutely thrived upon. He told stories, built us forts, laid hopscotch down on his carpet with painter’s tape, and could incorporate chocolate milk into breakfast like nobody else.
The wheelbarrow game was one of our favorites, and his desire to let joy loose in us imprinted me deeply.
This film was recorded about 43 years ago and Othillo’s joy still echoes in me.
It’s part of what I remember as I answer the call to let joy loose around me.
Tell me in the comments: Where are you showing up today?
The New Year brings lots of hope for change, but often convinces us to make unreasonable promises to ourselves. This year, let’s simplify and commit to repeated small steps toward our ultimate purpose.
Happy New Year to you!
I pray that you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends, and that you have experienced the nearness of Emmanuel this season.
As we enter the New Year, we are often tempted to make huge (sometimes unreasonable) promises to ourselves, unwittingly setting ourselves up to fail.
I don’t want that for you.
Instead, I pray that you stay close to the heart of the Father, asking Him for guidance. I pray that you are intentional to simplify your activities. I pray that you are reasonable and purposeful in setting one daily and one weekly action step that help lead toward your goals, seeking accountability from someone who will help you stay on track.
I pray that in this next season you make the choice to invest in your wellness and your future by trusting a coach who hears from the Lord and desires to help you unlock your purpose.
You can find out more about how I help people with their life purpose right here.
May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
May God be with you and bless you:
May you see your children’s children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.
May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.
May green be the grass you walk on,
May blue be the skies above you,
May pure be the joys that surround you,
May true be the hearts that love you
For your joy,
“Good genes are nice, but joy is better.” Or so said the byline of the Harvard Gazette article I ran across recently. I was intrigued for obvious reasons, but not surprised by what I read. Because I have been contemplating that very thing: does our longevity depend at least in part on the quality of our relationships?
I have observed that the most fulfilled people I know seem to be the ones that are happy in their family and friendships. The people who seem most able to handle the tensions and tragedies of life are the ones who are well-rooted in relationships. More than financial security, job happiness, and even physical health, it seems to me that thriving relationships contribute to joy and longevity.
Have you ever been surprised by the resiliency of someone facing the unimaginable? I have. And when I think back, those people who have surprised me are ones who have deep family and friend relationships.
So it probably shouldn’t surprise us that there is such a significant battle raging against healthy relationships. If people will know we are Christians by the way we love one another (John 13:35), you better believe there is a very real spiritual battle trying to undo it all.
Families are fractured, friendships and marriages are compromised by competition, division of pride and deceit, and innocence is stolen by the very people that should care and protect. A war is waged on joyful, healthy relationships.
Further, social media (as helpful as it is for some things) has convinced us that superficial relationships are real and deep and enough. When we also considered the trending rise in anxiety, isolation, depression and suicide that seems to correlate with the increasing use and prevalence of “social” media, the conclusions of the Harvard Gazette are reinforced.
“When we gathered together everything we knew about them about at age 50, it wasn’t their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old,” said Waldinger in a popular TED Talk. “It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.”
The Harvard Gazette
Well friend, I’m glad you asked. If we want to improve our longevity, we can care for our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. And this needs to include working on our relationships. Here are just a few important components to healthy, thriving relationships.
Do you remember that saying…couples that play together stay together? I think this extends beyond marriages too. Life-giving laughter and relaxed enjoyment are important in any relationship in order for it to thrive. We build trust there. We create memories. Surges of endorphins help us associate positively with those particular companions, and the sense of well-being they create are incidentally also good for our hearts. We want to be around the people who make us belly laugh – it’s good for our health.
Allow for many moments of laughter, and be someone who brings a smile to others and gives permission to stop and enjoy light moments.
But we also need the people who help us cry it out. The ones who don’t give up on us when we bare the ugly parts we are working through. Trust and intimacy only grow as we open ourselves up to be known, and we become the safe place for another to do the same.
Don’t allow fear to stop you from increasing in vulnerability within your relationships. Show people who you are, and love them for doing the same. Healing happens in vulnerability, so any fractures in our relationships require it if we are going to become healthier.
We simply must speak the truth in love. Deep, fulfilling relationships are able to withstand the hard conversations. Cultivate an environment where there is openness to correction, room for difficult discussions, allowance for differing opinions, and the collective pursuit of wholeness.
We must be able to receive it just as much as we dish it out, so pray that the Lord will help you increase in your humility to be transformed through conversation and prayer. Ask Him to help you season your conversations with grace as you pursue growth together.
Nothing destroys a relationship quite like a grudge. Unforgiveness is often a silent enemy wreaking havoc on our minds, bodies, and connections. When we harbor resentment, it compromises our ability to trust others, it comes against our physical health, and it robs us of joy. Holding on to it cripples us even more than it impacts the person who hurt us.
If you are in a relationship that puts you in physical or emotional danger, please reach out for help. You do not need to stay there because you hope it will change. If you have been able to come out of a relationship that caused you harm, please seek the help of a Counsellor and a Pastor. Find someone who can help you walk through your healing process in a healthy way.
Whenever possible, apologize. Relationships grow stronger when you are humble enough to admit you are wrong, and you care enough for the other person to make it right. And whenever you can, release yourself from the trap of unforgiveness.
Thriving friendships are selfless, giving, grace-filled, generous. They consider the well-being of the other first, lifting up and not tearing down. They don’t keep record of what was given and received. We offer without expecting anything in return. They find joy in serving the other.
Healthy relationships also discover how two people complement each other; How one’s strengths help another’s weakness, and how they are in fact stronger together. They delight in being a united and generous force together, and find ways to impact the world with their collective skills and gifts. They give of themselves and find joy.
“…the key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.”
George Vaillant
I am a champion of people’s wellness because God has called me to let JOY loose in the lives of people around me. It’s my joy to come alongside people and find health in their bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits. I have become convinced that as believers in Christ we can radiate the life and joy of Jesus through our relationships, bringing life wherever we go.
And as we are intentional to foster and deepen our emotional and relational wellness, we will further our longevity and increase our opportunities to show this world His love.