7 Ways to Say Thank You

How important is it that we say ‘thank you?’ Yes, it’s one of those politeness principles we learn as children, but is it important for us to carry that into our adult lives?

One of my favorite quotes is this: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.” (Melody Beattie)

At Joy Let Loose, I am fueled by the calling to light up the world with JOY. To find joy and to walk in it myself, but to also let it loose for others to walk in too. And I find that one of the very best ways to experience and walk in JOY is to give it away. That’s what prompts me to create Joy Challenges on my Facebook page. It what encourages me to invite people into my Young Living tribe. And it’s what keeps me coming back here to write.

So how can we make a practice of being grateful and sharing our gratitude with others? How can we appreciate people and say “thank you” in ways that are significant to them, so that we are letting JOY loose in their lives?

Giving JOY away so often looks simply like gratitude. And “gratitude unlocks the fullness of life…” What a beautiful, joyful circle that creates.

I’ve compiled a list of seven ways we can appreciate people and say “thank You.’ It is by no means exhaustive. But it is intended to help us all get started. And it’s possible you haven’t thought about some of these as a form of gratitude before. I would love to hear in the comments below which of these you found helpful. How did you use these ideas to let JOY loose? Or what other creative ideas would you add?

Know their names

At our church we all wear name tags. We often say that all relationships begin by learning someone’s name. Now, there are a few exceptions to that rule. Children are sometimes more than content to play for hours alongside a new pal whose name they did not think to learn. And some people build virtual relationships with pseudonyms and avatars. But for the most part, we begin relationships by exchanging names.

Have you ever noticed how meaningful it is to re-encounter someone you’ve met only once and have them remember your name? Chances are, if this is important to you, it is also important to others. It shows people that they are:

• Seen
• Respected
• Valuable

But not everyone excels at this. I don’t. Sometimes I think my memory is like a dream – it’s sort of still there, but kind of vague and just outside my grasp. So, how can you hone this skill and show people they are meaningful to you by remembering their name?

• Speak it. On that first encounter, say their name to their face several times within the confines of your conversation. Your voice + their face will add a memory peg
• Tell someone. Immediately after your first meeting, tell someone about it. “Hey, I just met so-and-so. Do you know her?” This is like rehearsal.
• Reach out. Let them know you were glad to meet them, even through a quick Facebook message. This will force you to look them up, and repeat their name again. And I’m sure when you say “glad to meet you,” they will hear you say thank you. It will demonstrate gratitude in and of itself.

Take an interest

Another way to say thank you is to take an interest in them. Taking an interest is to learn someone’s name, and then to want to know more. It’s to press past the obligatory “Hello, how are you? Great!” as you breeze by with barely a glance. It’s stopping, looking in eyes, and engaging. It’s moving beyond acquaintance and creating friend.

If you’ve ever heard the phrase, ‘If you want to love me, love my kids,’ then this is a similar premise. If you want to truly show people that you appreciate them, take note of their lives. Find common interest. Ask about their family. Follow up on the things they tell you about. Stepping into someone’s world says “I value you.”

Write a Letter

Remember the days before texts, emails and DMs when letters would arrive in your mailbox? With real stamps and return addresses and everything? And do you remember how exciting it was to tear those open?

Letter writing is kind of a lost art. But the excitement of opening a handwritten letter is not lost on us. In fact, in our insta-world, it may even be more meaningful that someone took the time to choose the card/notepaper, address the envelope, select the right postage, and get it into the mailbox. The person who did that for you thought about you that whole time. They appreciate you.

Now, go be that person.

Voice text or phone call

This past month I took a leadership development challenge with my business. I thoroughly enjoyed it. One of the most valuable things I realized was how meaningful voice-to-voice contact in. Again, we operate in such a text-based and instant world, that the warmth of voice is often lost. So I started using the phone more. And I started sending voice texts instead of just texting. Every single person who received a voice text from me over the last few weeks has mentioned how meaningful it was to hear my voice.

Go the extra mile and add warmth to your connections.

Invite them in

Ready for another “extra mile”? One incredible way to say thank you to people and to help them to feel valuable is to expand your family borders and open your home to them. If the very thought of that makes you panic, don’t worry. Most people are more focused on the gratitude they feel to get to share life with you than they are on your clutter and dust. I promise.

We are made for relationship. We aren’t made to do life alone. But so many people are starved for relationship that they don’t know the first thing about living life in community. And yet, bringing people into community can say thank you so much more loudly than most other things. So why not take a chance, offer an invite, be okay with the state of your house, and add to its warmth and love by expanding your borders to invite them in?

Listen

It has become apparent to me over the years that listening is actually one of my skills. I know this because:

• Most of my closest friends are talkers 🙂
• My natural go-to is to ask questions, not make statements
• People regularly thank me for listening
• I struggle with feeling like people don’t want to listen to me (I doubt this is always true, and believe it is a place where I actively need to replace a lie with the truth. But sometimes our weaknesses accuse our strengths, right?

We all have an intrinsic desire to be known. And being known happens through patient exploration. There is incredible joy in knowing that if we love God, we are known by Him. (1 Cor. 8:3) And there is also incredible joy in knowing that we are known by others. When I listen to people, I ask God to increase my capacity to care about what they care about, and to help them to feel valuable. To feel known. That’s it.

Stay off your devices. Look people in the eye. Listen. Ask questions and leave space for them to answer them. This is a huge way to show your gratitude for them and say thank you.

Pray

I’m afraid this is one of those suggestions that may come across either as a no-brainer, or as an “every-Christian-says-they’ll-pray-but-do-they-ever-actually’? kind of things.

If you’ve never offered to pray for someone. Do it. And then actually do it.
If you’ve offered to, but then forgotten to, do it. Actually do it.

There is no greater partnership you can make with someone than to lock arms with them by seeking the Lord on their behalf.

Two suggestions to help with establishing this as an intentional habit:

• Pray right away – instead of telling someone you’ll pray for them, and then walking away or hanging up the phone, pray right then. Praying in the moment, out loud, with the person you are praying for is an incredible way to say thank you for their life and friendship.
• Create a prayer journal – Start an evening habit of reminding yourself who you offered to pray for throughout your day. Write them in your prayer journal, along with a context clue about what you want to pray about. When prayers are answered, go back and update!

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.

Melody Beattie

People are worth the investment. Friendship is worth working on. Those manners we learned as children are still relevant for us as adults, and we have the incredible opportunity to unlock the fullness of life by being grateful. How will you say thank you today and let JOY loose?

Elizabeth Joy