Category: Emotional Wellness

The world is changing quickly.

Many of us feel as though our heads are spinning and we are completely out of control. We couldn’t predict that we’d be desperate to persist with JOY in 2020. When the calendar turned for me into this new decade, I discovered that my words for this year were going to be imagine and persist. But I didn’t know how challenging those would prove to be so quickly.

Then…

Just one month ago I boarded my second cruise ship for the month, helping my husband with his job. These fan cruises for NFL team fans were the culmination of sooo much prayer and hard work. Our whole family was there, and we were so excited to be volunteering together on a worthwhile adventure where we were seeing people be introduced to Jesus on the high seas.

Now…

Fast forward one month: there is a global pandemic, basically everything is shut down, my husband has lost the job he loved so much and was so effective in, and we can’t even leave our house while we are seeking wisdom from the Lord what to do next. And as ministers for Jesus, we are preparing for the inevitable onslaught of pastoral care on the near horizon, while helping people begin to navigate their current reality of isolation.

Wow! How did that happen? And how do we figure out how to persist with JOY even now?

I am so grateful that joyfulness is dependent on the constancy of a Person, not the comfort of a circumstance. I’ve learned this to be true – Hallelujah! But the reality is that we each need to put one foot in front of the other each day to persist with joy, right? We need to make tangible action towards joyful living. Here are 5 simple things we can do even now.

What Can We do to Persist With Joy?

• Practice Gratitude. This is something I talk about a lot. But sometimes it’s easier than others, isn’t it? Maybe you can start here at Joy Let Loose…put something in the comments that you are grateful for today!
• Stay connected. The kind of season we find ourselves in right now can cause us to self-protect and isolate. But isolation is a joy-killer, and community brings life. Maybe right now isn’t the time for get togethers and parties, but we live in such an opportune time to be creative with our connections as we persist with joy.
• Steal away for quiet time. It’s important to nourish our faith and quiet our souls. We were made to sometimes be still and know the God is GOD. Want some help knowing what to do in that quiet time? Start here:

Remember…

• Remember your wellness is holistic. Those who know me know I believe we are beautifully and intricately made, and that our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellness are all intertwined, and impact each other. Gut health impacts mental wellness, spiritual wellness impacts sleep, emotional health impacts digestion, skin, and energy etc. We are wonderfully complex beings! One of the ways that I persist with joy even now is to take that seriously, and to focus on my wellness holistically.
• Learn something new. What better time than when we are sheltering in place to learn a new skill? Or start a new hobby? Or discover some way to grow and improve ourselves? Whether that’s a new recipe, an online art or music lesson, or a leadership development podcast, now is the perfect time to re-focus and grow. Let’s be creative and try something different so we become more of who we are made to be (instead of wasting away the day with a couch and Netflix.) I’m working on developing my leaders team with my Young Living business..and the Zoom calls, Marco chats, and business development activities are filling me up! (I’m also trying my hand at a few new recipes as I persist with joy…I don’t love to cook, but I need to eat!) Share in the comments below something new you are going to try in April!

So Persist With Joy

So be truly glad. There is wonderful JOY ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

Elizabeth Joy

I didn’t even know my joy was trapped. Because I kept trying to muster it up, and just thought I needed to to match the picture of what I thought things were supposed to look like. This was my firstborn…a delightful, blue-eyed boy with the softest skin and sweetest baby smell. (How I wish I could have bottled that up.)

He was perfect.

And especially after a scare in that pregnancy of a massive in-utero brain cyst; that it had diminished and disappeared and that he was born perfectly healthy and strong… we knew he was a miracle.

I wanted to rejoice but joy was trapped.

So instead I cried. A lot. And hid in the dark. And bristled when he wanted to feed again. Because mastitis. Over and over mastitis and the horrendous sickness that accompanies it.

I gave it a name

There. I named it.

Because I could see this physical ailment and get help for it.

I could wrap my mind around a physical issue, and I felt no shame for it – I simply asked for help. And gave up breastfeeding. And it healed.

But what I didn’t know was that there was another unseen “ailment” trying to devour me.

It prowled around in my mind under the surface, where joy was trapped. It made me think things that weren’t true. Lying words made small things seem enormous and impossible.

It chastised me for being a horrible mother who failed at breastfeeding, and it made me rage in anger when my little boy wouldn’t nap, and sometimes even made me wish our whole lives would just go away.

Who could I tell that my joy was trapped?

I felt such shame. And who could I tell about it? I was brand new to the whole “I’ve given my life to Jesus” thing and was already thrust into public ministry. I was responsible for caring for other people growing in their faith, while I was so very brand new to mine.

People were always looking to me to be the example or to have the answer, and I kept pretending to have it. And from somewhere came the whispered lie that my faith just wasn’t strong enough. If I were a good enough Christian, I wouldn’t think and feel such unspeakable things.

So I never told anyone about it.

I never told anyone my joy was trapped

I never asked for help — who would I ask, really?

If anyone knew that my body had given birth only to become pregnant with a deep darkness of anger and sadness and doubt, I would be rejected. And I couldn’t handle rejection at this point.

So I hid and pretended all was well. And I tried to take rigid control of every area of my life so I wouldn’t have to feel so turbulent. I worked harder and entertained more. I lost all the baby weight and then some. And I planned out the course of our family growth.

Then the birth of that second, delightful little blue-eyed boy just fueled the fire of depression and the lie that I needed to hide it.

Because I was a Christian and I was a leader. It didn’t make sense that I was so very sad when all aspects of my life were really pretty great. I had a loving husband, two beautiful little boys, people to lead in ministry, and all kinds of possibilities on the horizon. It didn’t make sense, but it was still there.

And somewhere along the way, I heard about sin-sickness. And I started to think that my current reality of tormented thoughts and lava rage under the surface was punishment for all the sins of my past.

Somehow, the whispered lying voice in my head convinced me that I brought this on myself. I figured I was experiencing repercussions that I deserved. So I’d better just try to be a better Christian to undo it.

Yes, sin has repercussions…sometimes long-term ones. But I had found victory over those past sins in Jesus; I was forgiven and set free. And I was set free for freedom, not to continually live in the slavery of punishment.

This was not that.

It really wasn’t my fault

It really would be more of a book than a blog post for me to describe the long-time battle with my thoughts and emotions. And the turmoil of guilt that I felt for so long about them.

In my case, it wasn’t that no one offered to help. I didn’t even reach out for it.

I didn’t know that I was battling a mental health issue. Somehow, I just thought it was my lot in life. Somehow, I didn’t know that postpartum depression was an actual thing I could get help for, and that my strength would be best displayed in my reaching out for help.

But I didn’t let anyone know the ferociousness of my internal struggle. Why did I feel so afraid to let anyone in?

I thought it was un-Christian to struggle with depression. And that the struggle made me weak. I thought it disqualified me from the things I felt called to.

• It’s not
• It didn’t
• It doesn’t

In my situation, my whacked-out hormones caused the turmoil in my mind and emotions. It wasn’t actually my fault.

Whether a mental health issue is caused by hormonal imbalance, trauma, genetics, or another unknown reason, it is never your fault.

And to my Christian friends: it doesn’t mean your faith in Jesus isn’t real.

But, hear me: There is a very real battle for your soul. And the enemy will grab hold of your emotional wellness to pull you toward death.

You. Must. Fight. with an army of people on your side.

It is not only mental or emotional. And not only spiritual. It is all.

I wish I had reached out back then. I wish I had sought help.

I might have discovered then that joy and emotions can meet.

Thankfully, I am here today on the other side of that monster only by the grace of God. And in reality, I only started to be able to walk out of it when I became more transparent about the struggle.

When I stopped hiding it and brought it into the light, I started to be able to overcome it.

Opening up when joy is trapped

Opening up about mental health and fighting to pursue wellness may include:

• Therapy and counseling
• Medications
• Clean living and natural wellness
• Fitness and diet changes
• Hospitalization
• Regular life-coaching and accountability
• Letting people into your pain
• Prayer support and discipleship

And I’m pretty sure it will always include vulnerability and intentionality. It is a very real monster that needs to be lured out of the cave into the battle arena and fought.

Mental health and emotional wellness are realities we must not leave in the dark. It is not something that cheapens our faith, even though it wants to threaten to overshadow it.

When our joy is trapped, we will have to purposely let it loose.

Joy let loose

I had a conversation with a sweet friend yesterday who celebrated with me that we have a God who brings life through us even while He brings life to us. Indeed, He called me to let JOY loose in people while I was decidedly joyless.

He doesn’t leave us to wrestle alone, and He doesn’t give up on His purposes for us.

But God does call us to be active participants in our restoration.

And, by His grace alone, our lives can become an honest reflection of what rescue and redemption really look like in this real and broken world.

Ask for help

Friend, if you are struggling to see the value in your life, you are not alone. If you wrestle moment-by-moment with crushing thoughts, people can help you.

If your emotions are out of control, you have advocates who can come alongside and point you in the right direction.

Your life has purpose and meaning. Please reach out and let someone know that you are struggling.

And if you experienced a time when your joy was trapped, but now you have let it loose, we’d love to read your victory story in the comments.

It helps us all to know there is something worth fighting for.

Elizabeth Joy

Well, I let the cat out of the bag and told you my word for 2019 – Happy. 

Risky, I know.

Because what if I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Or what if the dog chews up my shoes? Or what if I argue with my husband and I just want to be mad? Then you’ll know I’m breaking my New Year’s Resolution. Ugh.

Is it really like that? Can I just resolve to be happy? Well, in my last post I talked a little about the strategic element to pursuing happiness. And now I’m going to let you in a little on one actual day-to-day strategy.

What can you and I both do to help us to be happy?

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.

Andrew Carnegie

Goal #1 to being happy: Fill Up with Good Things

If you’ve taken a turn around Joy Let Loose at all, you’ll know I love Jesus. If you aren’t sure whether you do, that’s ok. It’s still cool you’re here. But I need you to know that Jesus is always my filter. He’s always my lens. (P.S. If you haven’t read anything else on my site, hang out awhile. Check out previous posts in all my menus. You’ll find stuff about family, about trauma, about moving, jewelry, and even my choice to use essential oils. There’s a little bit of everything here, but I see it all through Jesus. And I’d love to sit and have coffee with you for a bit.)

So anyway, my very first goal – filling up with good things – has to do with Him. And specifically, the Bible. Because I have come to trust the Scriptures to turn my attitude around.

Confession time:

I’ve been in ministry for 20+ years – Churches, Bible Colleges, Discipleship Groups, Youth Groups…that’s a long time to be a spiritual leader. And most of that time, I’ve been a faithful student of the Bible. However, there are seasons where I have fallen off the wagon, so to speak. Where I allow my busy-ness or my tired-ness or my sad-ness or my confident-ness 🙂 to distract me from what I know deep down is an ultimate priority. Because I allow them to pull me away from spending time reading the Bible. So I can tell you from firsthand experience how much of a difference it makes in my level of happiness when I choose to fill up with good things – I need the Scriptures to turn my attitude around.

Renew Your Mind

Paul tells the Romans not to conform to the patterns of the world, but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds. (Romans 12:2) So how do we renew our minds? I believe one primary way to renew our minds so that we do not conform to the patterns of our world, and so that we are able to test and approve God’s perfect and pleasing will, is to read and meditate on scripture.

• Scripture is a window into God’s heart. It is the primary way God chose to show us who He is. And it is abundant in the grace and love of our heavenly Father.
• Scripture is a mirror. It reveals to us who we are. And also who God has created us to be. It is direct, vulnerable, kind, and transformative.

• Scripture is living and active. It changes the way that we think and make our decisions.

• Scripture is a perspective-changer. Like a brand-new lens, it helps us to see things with a Kingdom focus. It helps us to discover what God is doing through our circumstances, and not to focus on the circumstances alone.

• Scripture sustains us. The Holy Spirit often uses it to remind us of truth in difficult moments. The more we are filled up with it, the more opportunity He has to fuel us with it in our day-to-day life.

Filling up with good things: the goal that commands my thoughts, liberates my energy, and inspires my hope.

With that in mind, then, who’s in? I’m choosing to depend on Scriptures to turn my attitude around. So do you want to join me to meditate on these 5 short passages over the next 15 days? I plan to focus on one Scripture for three days straight. I will read it, cross-reference it, write it out, memorize it, talk about it, and sit silently asking God to help me live into it. And I’m pretty confident this will help me on my journey as I choose #happy.

Join me!

So let me know by clicking here if you are joining me while I’m learning these 5 Scriptures to turn my attitude around. And if you do, I’ll send you a few encouragements along the way.

What about you – what’s your word for 2019? Have you created a strategy to see it become a reality in your life? Tell us in the comments below!