Lonely
Lonely. Alone. Unknown.
That’s how I felt for so much of my life. Not seen. Not heard. Less than enough.
And not because of anyone treating me that way. I was loved by parents, husband, and kids.
And a few friends.
But loneliness was an invisible prison. Constructed by me and against me; warfare from an unseen force.
It made me resent you.
And I wanted to avoid you.
It made me happiest to be as alone as humanly possible, ignoring phone calls and afraid of doorbells, meetings, and coffee dates.
Connection and being known
Connection? I both craved it and hated it.
Friendships made me anxious and conflicted. I was lonely for so long in crowded living rooms and churches, surrounded but solitary.
And most people wouldn’t have known; I was pretty good at disguising it.
Because my prison was safe and I liked it there.
Created for Relationship
We were made for connection.
Created to be in relationship.
We were made in the image of One who is Three.
Transformation happens when there is community, accountability, and encouragement.
That’s why the unseen force wages such a war against us, fracturing families and friendships, and making us hide behind fences and gates.
We lock our hearts with the fear of vulnerability and known-ness.
We convince ourselves that virtual friendships are enough and that casual intimacy is true. That we are better off alone.
Joy in Being Known
But there is more. Being known is better.
Because that’s where sorrow and joy collide, where healing happens, and where lives grow to be more like Jesus.
There is relational wealth much richer than the relational poverty many of us live in. And it holds promise of greater fulfillment and a fuller life.
Take Courage
Transparency takes courage. Being a true friend who opens your heart up to others is brave, honest, and scary. The prison feels safer.
You were made for being known.
And if you have the desire for it, that’s a miracle from the Lord. He will hold your hand as you push open the cell door and step out.
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