Joy Let Loose

May 2, 2017

How to Find Real Joy Again when Life Circumstances have Stolen it (A Blog Round-up)

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Real Joy

I am so happy it is May! Spring is my favorite season: one of new life and new beginnings. But many people can’t face this season with hope. They wonder how to find real  joy again when life circumstances have stolen it. 

A Joy Blog Round-up

As I’ve been writing about my journey toward  joy, I’ve discovered other writers that are also joy-journeying. For this post, I’ve rounded up some of my new blogging friends, and asked them to tell you about their experiences. They have been finding real  joy again even when their life experiences have stolen it. Their stories are real, and their joy is contagious. I pray you will learn from them, and then take a visit to each of their blogs to see what God is up to in their lives.

Choosing Joy in Loss

Hannah writes over at The Young Wives Club. She shares her experience with devastating loss:

I will always remember the look on the doctor’s face when she told us we were experiencing a miscarriage.

Despite her best attempts to deliver the news with compassion, my heart sank. How could the Lord allow this to happen to us? To me? I’m not sure what stung more in that moment. The reality that our little one had not survived or that looming feeling that God had somehow gotten it wrong.

Pain has a way of blinding us to the Lord’s movements. We feel the physical and emotional oppression. We long to hear his voice, but the silence feels so alone. Regardless of how much we pray, it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

For a long time, I lived in my pain. It was my identity and, begrudgingly, I allowed it to consume who I was. I didn’t want to continue in this debilitating cycle, but I couldn’t seem to find my way out. I started the believe that the Lord had forgotten me. How could this possibly be his plan for my life? And years of hurting, how could a miscarriage be added into the mix? It hardly seemed fair from my perspective and, the more I believed that I had gotten the short-end of the stick, the less I was able to relish in the  joy set before me.

You see, real  joy isn’t like happiness or grief. It’s not an emotion that comes and goes with life. Like peace, the  joy of the Lord is something we are offered continually. But we have to accept it, choose it, and embrace it despite the tumultuous waters surrounding us.

Like peace, the joy of the Lord is something we are offered continually. Click To Tweet

Just as Psalm 30:5 says, “Pain may last for the night, but  joy comes in the morning.” The morning doesn’t necessarily mean we are delivered from our circumstances. Though it would be nice to be instantaneously delivered, the “morning” is the result of us choosing to be joyful regardless of everything else that is going on.

Joy comes in the morning. In that ER, I didn’t believe that joy would ever come, but the Lord was gracious and through that grace, I learned to choose joy over my pain. I found freedom from the oppression and encountered Christ’s strength to carry on.

Joy Again, Even After Infidelity

We learn Esther Hosea’s humble and vulnerable story of  joy restored in marriage at His Dearly Loved Daughter:

When I discovered Your Words, I devoured them. They are my  joy and my heart’s DELIGHT, for I bear Your name, Oh Lord of Heaven’s Armies. (Jeremiah 15:16)

My story is pretty simple.  I fell in love with and married a man who has suffered most of his life with addiction, rebellion, and pride.  I knew little of these struggles when I married him.  Despite the monster that hid in the secret depths of his heart and mind, we were always crazy about each other.  

Through the nearly 17  years of our marriage he see-sawed back and forth between two personalities: The secret one who went out into the world and did what he wanted; and the one who came home to me. He was able to close the dark monster in a drawer and walk away, forgetting he even existed.  He wanted to follow God the rest of the time and we built an ideal life together.

But our God is a God of truth and He does not allow what is hidden to stay that way.  Over many painful years He showed me exactly what I was dealing with and I realized that the man I had loved with all my heart had been very unfaithful.  It was devastating.  Earth shattering!  I found myself completely robbed of my  joy for a brief season because my eyes could focus on nothing apart from my pain.

I am the daughter of the High King of Heaven, though, and He does not leave His dearly loved daughters alone in their misery.  He pursues them with relentless love.  Like Jeremiah in the verses above, I devoured the Word of God through those dark months.  As I did, I found my joy restored.  

The Bible reveals so much about who God is, and what He has done for us.  As we read it, we begin to realize His magnitude; to look up in awe at the Mighty One, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!  We realize how very small we are, how insignificant in the scope of eternity.  And then, we see what He did for us.  We see that even though we are nothing (wretched, worthless sinners) this mighty, all-powerful God died in our place!  Why?  Why would He do that?  It’s ridiculous!  

He did it because He loves us, and wants to have a relationship with us.  Plain and simple.  Because we matter to Him.  I am so humbled!  It causes my heart to sing!  It fills me with unspeakable  joy!  I might often feel unloved here in this world, but the Lord God Almighty loves me!  He chose me!  I am in awe!

Writing Joy in Pain

 

Desiree is intent on Making Joy Contagious on her blog. Hear part of her story about seeking joy even in incredible physical pain:

For the last 20 years, I have been praying, seeking and journaling with God through my struggles. It has been an awesome journey seeking Him for my marriage, children, heart, and His strength. It has taught me a myriad of things about myself. Things I wanted to know and things I could do without. I’ve found peace in times of trouble. I have found a breath of fresh air where darkness wanted to creep in. 

I have found a breath of fresh air where darkness wanted to creep in. Click To Tweet

At times when I felt I couldn’t go another day, prayer and journaling reminded me He (My Lord) is always there. Staying in His word kept me in a daily conversation, where God continuously filled me with His abundant, real  joy.

Seeking His  joy provided me the comfort when trials seemed like impossible mountains to climb. It provided me peace when my body was ill with cancer or in pain (did I mention years of pain). And it filled me with love when I sought to be loved in the world and by the world (divorce). 

In my circumstances I chose Him through prayer and journaling each and every time. I chose to seek His real  joy because He has a divine plan for my life and it was the only thing that brought me peace. 

I know today that my peace has come because I have sought Him and have allowed Him to comfort me and give me strength regardless of my circumstances. Seeking His Joy has become a daily action of prayer and journaling that has kept me connected to something so much greater than myself. In His presence I have  found an inward peace and contentment regardless of the circumstances.

Today, in my blog I share these prayers, because God has asked me to. They were a private part of me but I know now after so many medical trials and struggles that my struggles were intentional and purposeful. They have brought me to this place right here where I can share with others on finding His real  joy and living fully in His presence regardless of what life throws at you and not allowing anything to steal what God has designed just for you today.

We are His masterpiece…so begin your journey today by praying, seeking and meeting Him as much as possible with pen and paper through the pain.

 

Seeing Joy in a Disability

Jerusha shares her vulnerable journey over at Beauty in the Broken. Today we hear about finding joy in a disability:

Living with a disability can sometimes steal your  joy. There are uncertainties about your future. There are limitations on your lifestyle.  Inconveniences are peppered throughout your days. Add all of these together, and it can often leave you feeling hopeless, helpless and unhappy.

I have felt all of these things. I was diagnosed with an untreatable disease last fall that is slowly stealing my mobility, my energy and my patience. I’ve lost my  joy a time or two. I’ve cried a lot of tears from deep within my soul. What happens when a happy-go-lucky person isn’t happy anymore?

There was a time when I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. But then I remembered something that is easy to forget. I remembered I have  joy in Jesus. This is not a fleeting  joy. This is an everlasting joy. In James 1:2-4 it says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great  joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (NLT)

My greatest  joy comes through suffering. I know it’s hard to understand, in fact, it took me quite some time to realize this myself. How does one find  joy in the midst of suffering? The answer is Jesus. I believe that I was gifted with this disability because God’s plan for my life is more important than my plan. It far greater than anything I could have imagined. When I stop and think about this, I find great  joy that God has chosen me to show his glory through my disability. God chose me.

There is great  joy in knowing that God hand-picked me for a purpose. Even in suffering, we can rejoice. Because we serve a great God who has great plans.  And so I rejoice in Him and His goodness. My favourite way to rejoice in Him is to play my favourite worship music and sing along. Sometimes, I don’t feel like singing. But I close my eyes, listen to the words, and something changes. My heart seems lighter. And out of that, springs a  joy that overflows. From that spring of  joy comes contentment. And just like that, this happy-go-lucky girl is happy again.

How About You?

I’m so thankful to my fellow bloggers today for sharing their struggles and their real joy so vulnerably with you today. Visit each of their blogs for more encouragement. Here are four practical steps that can help you recover stolen joy:

  • Choose real joy over pain
  • Find God in His Word
  • Commune with Him as you pray and journal
  • Pour yourself out to Him in worship

Elizabeth Joy

Posted in: Journey, Soul care
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April 17, 2017

The Joy Model, by Jeff Spadafora: A Book Review

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In January, I wrote about a gift I received from my husband Scott, The Joy Model: A Step-by-Step Guide to Peace, Purpose, and Balance, by Jeff Spadafora. It was an early #joysighting!. I intended to review it sooner, but chose to savor its wisdom before bringing it to you here at  Joy Let Loose. Now that I have finished it, and have enjoyed looking around Jeff’s blog, and companion devotional journey, I can’t wait to tell you about it!

 

The Joy Model

Jeff was successful in life in many of the ways our culture defines success. He had a beautiful family, vibrant career, and a lovely home. Jeff also had access to many life luxuries many of us only dream of. But he sensed something was missing. He defines the years of his life between ages 25-40 as years of “smoldering discontent”. Jeff describes a pendulum swing between “doing for God” and “being with God” that left him exhausted and frustrated. Although he was doing everything he thought he was supposed to be doing to grow as a Christian, somehow the joy promised in the Bible was elusive to him.

It’s almost as if this faith thing had ignited a thirst that could never be quenched. (13)

As he shares his story of discontentment and joylessness, Jeff challenges readers to examine their own lives and smoldering discontent.

Revelation

Have you ever had an idea elude you for a long season, even though you know something is there? Then all of a sudden, comprehension comes like a lightning bolt to clear the fog? That is what happened for Jeff after several months of trying to create a diagram that adequately described the concept of joy. In a moment, he had a profound, yet simple, grid. It revolutionized his teaching, and accurately portrayed his own journey from discontent to joyful living.

Not only does this joy model portray the concept, but it shows how to move from where people are now to greater joy. Jeff calls it the M.A.S.T.E.R. Plan. He is careful to explain that seeking joy for joy’s sake is kind of like chasing a butterfly in its elusiveness. His plan coaches readers to seek God, promising that peace, joy and fulfillment are by-products of a focus on God.

M.A.S.T.E.R. Plan

I felt exposed by the first few chapters of this book. As an almost 20-year-old believer, I could hear my own discontent echo through their pages as I saw my pendulum swinging. So, I loved the helpful depth and clarity of chapters four through ten, as Jeff gently walked me through each element of the M.A.S.T.E.R. Plan:

  • Margin
  • Abiding
  • Self-awareness
  • Treasure (and Temple)
  • Engagement
  • Relationships
Thoughts

Margin is what actually makes room for change to happen. It is difficult to allow for in our busy cultures. But it is essential. We just returned from a two-week trip designed specifically for margin. Our family transition that has been unfolding over the last year has drained us physically and emotionally. We all needed to just breathe. Rest by the pool in the sunshine, on the sand by the ocean, and around the dinner table with family and friends was what my soul needed! 

Jeff’s coaching on margin, though, goes beyond the periodic vacation, and points to the need for space in everyday life. He gives permission to dream of the ideal life, and contrast it with reality. Margin is necessary to bridge the gap.

Inner Focus

Abiding echoes Jesus’ words in John 15:5. So many of us get caught up in all of the “doing” of Christianity that we do not truly abide in Christ. Jeff gives permission for readers to enjoy God in ways He has uniquely designed them. But he also challenges us to come close to God in ways we perhaps haven’t before. He outlines specific disciplines that can draw us closer to the Lord.

Jeff’s chapter about Self-Awareness reveals a revolutionary part of his own journey. It exposes what he calls the “False Self”, against which most of us war. It helps us see the destructiveness of self-deception, and the limits that our selfishness place on us. But it points us toward the “Real Self”, and movement on the joy model. He promises this discovery holds the life you have always wanted.

Real joy is being exactly who we are in service to others and for the glory of God. (114)

In his chapter about Treasure, Jeff introduces the “Green Monster”. He discovered that, far too often, finances degrade people’s joy. But he says that wealth and a life of joy are not mutually exclusive. His own discovery that he relied on wealth to form his identity set him on a trajectory to learn how His money could bless other people. This chapter is one of strategy to help readers take the same steps. 

Outward Focus

Engagement is about being enlisted in the work of the Holy Spirit on this earth. But it is impossible to enlist prior to the self-examination of the previous chapters, so don’t rush ahead! By now, our passions and paradigms have changed, and we are freed up to step in fully to God’s will for our lives. This is not about the obligation of what we ought  to do, but more about being brave to do what we were created to do.

We don’t lack clarity from God about what we should be doing. We lack he creativity and courage to go do it. (136)

Finally, in the section about Relationships,Jeff reminds us of the treasure we have in the people God has given to us. He challenges the superficial relationships we often keep, holding people at arm’s length. And Jeff encourages readers to examine their key relationships, resolve conflict more carefully, and develop intimacy.

Jeff encourages readers not to try this journey alone. He recommends mentoring, coaching, and accountability. His companion blog and devotional journey are helpful tools he provides to help. But he says most people will not be successful trying to go this road alone. 

The Joy Model Recommended!

I am so glad I took my time working through The Joy Model: A Step-by-Step Guide to Peace, Purpose, and Balance,  rather than simply consuming it in a day or two! I plan now to go back through it again, following Jeff’s recommendations and strategies. His joy model is clear and very helpful. If you are excited to start reading right away, I’d recommend you download the kindle version.  On this journey toward joy at  Joy Let Loose, I want my life to radiate the joy of the Lord. But I can still see my pendulum swinging sometimes, and my propensity to focus more on what I ought to do, rather than what I was created to do.

I am confident that Jeff Spadafora’s book will have a significant impact on my own joy-journey, and I want to recommend it to you in yours. If you have felt smoldering discontent, unsure why the joy of the Lord seems elusive to you, then please check out this book! 

Comments

I would love to hear about your experience with The Joy Model in the comments below! Where are you on the grid? How is God moving you from where you are to where you want to be? 

Elizabeth Joy

 

 

 

Posted in: Journey, Joy sightings, Soul care
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March 30, 2017

Joyful Obedience: 4 Real Ways to Rejoice in Everyday Life

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Joy is a command. Straight up. Writers throughout Scripture tell us to be joyful, to rejoice. Is it that easy? In February, I showed you seven things Scripture says about joy. Now I’m unfolding a series of articles to flesh those out. Last week, I wrote about the reality that we can find natural (supernatural) joy in our everyday lives.  Today, I want to talk about joyful obedience, and 4 real ways we can keep the command to rejoice. Below you will find several resources to help you rejoice in normal, everyday life.

Joyful Obedience: 4 Real Ways to Rejoice in Everyday Life

Rejoice in your salvation

We all have a story of who we’ve been. And if we have clung to Jesus, then we aren’t the same people any longer. Praises! One amazing exercise we can do in our everyday lives to rejoice in our salvation is to lay claim to the fact that the old has gone and the new has come.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Cor. 5:17)

It’s healthy and beneficial to remind ourselves over and over of our new identity. Like Gideon did in Judges 6 when God revealed Himself to him, we can stack stones into an altar of peace and joy, to replace the ones of immorality and evil we have torn down. As we remind ourselves of what we used to be, and stand firm on who we are now, we participate in joyful obedience. 

I used to be… but now, this is me.

Download the free resource below to help you rejoice in your salvation. Column one is a place to remind yourselves of the old altars of your life, the things the God of peace has helped you to tear down. Column two is for your new stones. These are the new names God has given you; they are the things that are true about you now because the God of Salvation has rescued you. Gideon was the weakest member of the weakest clan. But God called him “Mighty Warrior.” Who were you? And who are you now?

As you write down the things that used to be true about you, cross them out. In Jesus’ name, they are finished and done. Praise God as you write down what He has birthed in you. Lay claim to the new that has come and is coming. Rejoice in your salvation!

Download the PDF

Rejoice in God’s protection

I’m convinced we have absolutely no idea how many things God has spared us from. Scripture shows God to be a fierce protector, and all of us can attest to situations in our lives where the unexplainable has happened to keep us from physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. Gideon experienced God’s astounding protection, and no one but God could be credited with the victory. After instructing Gideon to whittle down his troops more than once, he gives the Midianites right into the hands of his measly 300 soldiers (Judges 7). It was not Gideon’s strength that won the fight, because God had confused the Midianites, and they turned on each other. Gideon had so little to offer into the battle, but he came out victorious because there is no one stronger than our God. 

Everyday rejoicing includes the acknowledgment and praise for God’s strong protection in our lives. So call out God’s powerful and protective attributes, and trust that He protects us even when we don’t realize we are in danger. The resource I’ve created below is to help you be deliberate with joyful obedience.

Download the PDF

Rejoice in God’s provision

Luke 17 holds a story surprisingly similar to many of ours. Jesus miraculously healed ten lepers. These men had been outcasts, the lowest of the low. Each was unclean until our Savior cleansed them. He told them to go and present themselves to the priests, and as they went on their way, they realized they were healed. The provision for a cleansed leper extended far beyond the radical restoration of a physical body. It returned to them dignity, family, standing within their community, and the ability to once again be involved in the everyday activities and rituals of life. 

Shortly thereafter, one of the men returned to Jesus, throwing himself at Christ’s feet in abandoned gratitude. Even Jesus seemed a little surprised that only one came to thank Him. As he encouraged the man to head home, He said that the man’s faith had made Him well. 

How often do you and I overlook the incredible provisions of our God? What do we take for granted? He is a Father of abundance, who gives good gifts to His children. From the breath that sustains us, to the food that nourishes, and the people to cherish, we really have no end to the reasons to pour out our gratitude. I want my faith to continue to make me well; to be the one who comes back…

I want my faith to continue to make me well; to be the one who comes back... (Luke 17) Click To Tweet

The resource below is another one you can download to help focus your gratitude as a part of joyful obedience and everyday rejoicing. I suspect each of us could fill this a hundred times over and still never run out of things to be thankful to God for!

Download the PDF

Rejoice in God’s care

 When Jesus stood on the mountain to teach, He revealed the incredibly caring nature of the Father. He spoke of comfort for the grieving, kingdom inheritance for the meek and the poor in spirit, filling for the thirsty, and sonship for peacemakers. Later, He revealed God’s care over the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, reminding the people how much more valuable they are to God than even those. God’s care for His people is intimate and profuse. Jesus demonstrated God’s care by looking little children in the eye and pulling them up on His knee, by touching the unlovable, and dining with the sinner. 

At  Joy Let Loose, we believe that rejoicing in God’s care includes acknowledging His care in our lives, but also letting it loose to others. Joyful obedience and daily rejoicing is found in extending grace to others in the everyday, whether in words, finances, help, or simple company. How can you begin to rejoice in God’s care by caring for others? What tangible expressions of God’s love can you give in your home, your workplace, or your community? 

I would love for you to use this resource to begin to drink in and pour out God’s loving care on others. Pray. Brainstorm. Where can you begin letting joy loose even today?

Download the PDF

Joyful Obedience

Joy is a command. Straight up. And commands are given for our benefit. I want to be one of those people who exudes the joy of the Lord. And I want to rejoice daily in my salvation, God’s protection, His provision, and His care. So I pray that these resources will help me and help you to begin to live in joyful obedience, as we find real ways to rejoice in everyday life. 

How are you living joyfully? Share your stories in the comments below about how you are using these resources to rejoice in everyday life.

Elizabeth Joy

Posted in: Journey, Soul care
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March 3, 2017

6 Joy Scriptures to Memorize This Month: Renewing My Mind

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I’m setting a new goal with 6 joy scriptures to memorize this month to renew my mind. This week has been crazy. Just nuts. And my mind has been all over the place. (All over the place is not a good place.) So today I know I need to be extra intentional to focus and fill my mind with good things. On the journey toward  joy a primary area to be proactive is in rearranging my thinking. But I simply can’t do that on my own.

Do Not Conform

Paul tells us not to conform to the pattern of this world – not to copy its behavior and customs – but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).  We tend to think about whatever we fill our minds with. So, how do we renew our minds?

We tend to think about whatever we fill our minds with. Click To Tweet

If we take in a lot of crime drama, we may find we tend to be frightful and suspicious. When we take in a lot of sexualized music or video, we may find we tend to be lustful. And if we read or listen to a lot of profanity, don’t be surprised if our thoughts – and then our words – become (*ahem*) colorful.

Renew Your Mind

But if we take in an abundance of Scripture, I think we’ll find we tend to encounter the world in a Christlike way. Philippians 4:8 describes exactly what kinds of things are worthy of our thoughts. 

 

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Phil. 4:8)

 

So, on this journey toward  joy, I’ve decided on 6 joy scriptures to memorize this month in order to renew my mind. And I’m confident that these three verses from the Psalms and three from the New Testament will fuel me for  joy.

Would you join me on this journey? Here is a free resource I created to help us all jump in!

 

Another resource that has helped me in the past is Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word Day by Day. She helps to pinpoint specific passages that focus our daily attention in a devotional format.

What is your plan to renew your mind? Share your journey in the comments below!

Elizabeth Joy

Posted in: Journey, Soul care, Weekdays, Weekends
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February 22, 2017

What Pixar’s Sadness Teaches About Joy (And What Scripture Says)

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Sadness

It is ironic to me that in a season where God has me on a joy journey I would feel so much sadness. Grieving another loss of community, a loss of professional identity, the tumultuous transition for two teenagers to our new normal, the impacts of moving on our marriage and family overall, and perhaps even some emotional shifts relative to my age, I think I’ve been sad more than I’ve been happy over the last 5 months.  Did God call me to joy last summer because He knew what sorrow lay ahead for me? Or is the sorrow an intrinsic part of the joy journey? I’ve wondered about joy and sadness. Are they partners or nemeses? Playmates or enemies?

Maybe it’s just like God to make growth so multi-dimensional.

Pacifiers and jolly-jumpers and 22-minute kids’ videos to buy a little time for a shower seem a thing of the distant past to me now, though they seemed to occupy so much space and attention for those younger parent years. (We used to relate the length of car rides to the length of VeggieTales videos to help our children have some perspective on just how much longer we would be driving.)

All three of my incredible kids are now full fledged teenagers, and understand things much more complex than Bob and Larry, but we still enjoy being drawn in to the magic of the occasional animated movie from time to time. The ones that rise to the top of the list are those like “Megamind” with good character development and enough quick, intelligent banter to maintain parents’ intrigue while still entertaining youngsters. You know the kind: the ones that make an awesome family movie night, but for which you might grab a bowl of popcorn, even when there aren’t children in the room.

Inside Out

One such movie is Pixar’s “Inside Out”, released in 2015. It tells the tale of an eleven-year-old girl named Riley whose parents embark on a new family adventure, moving them from the Midwest to the West Coast. In the creative forefront of this film are characters built around five key emotions that make Riley tick: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust. Since she is young, her emotions are still relatively simplistic. These emotions essentially run Riley’s control center, and we get to be privy to what’s going on on the inside as they interact. It doesn’t go unnoticed to me that Riley’s adventure with joy and sadness surrounds a huge life transition…

While I thoroughly enjoyed this movie for its entertainment value alone, as I’ve considered joy-journeying, I’ve thought more about the ideas this movie represents. Movies have the inherent ability to teach us and form our thinking (perhaps without us realizing it), so what does this popular movie teach us about joy? And does Scripture support or negate these ideas? I’ve pulled out four key points.

Joy and happiness are synonymous

It was interesting to me that the pleasant emotion depicted in this movie was dubbed “joy”, rather than “happiness”. Joy is a perky, optimistic little character, bent on keeping Riley happy at all times. She is cheerful and chipper, and intent on her mission to permeate Riley’s present days and past memories with happiness. Honestly, at first I recoiled a little bit that this emotion was named Joy. Then I had to question myself why I felt that way.

Christians often separate the words joy and happiness. Happiness is considered a fleeting emotion, entirely dependent on situations that surround us. It is what we feel when things go well, and we are secure. But, precariously balanced on those good circumstances, happiness is easily dampened when situations take a turn for the worse. Juxtaposed against that is joy. Joy is thought not to be an emotion, but that which abides within us as unshakeable confidence as it is tethered to our hope in Christ.

Tied together…

I believe wholeheartedly that Scripture teaches us that our joy is tethered to our hope in Christ (Romans 15:13; 1 Peter 1:8-9). I can follow it through to see that joy can be steadfast, even when pleasant emotions are compromised by trial (James 1:2-3; Phil. 1:12-20). But I can’t hold fast to the idea that joy and happiness are unrelated or opposites of each other. There are too many places in Scripture where “joy” and “happiness” are tied closely together:

Scripture:

Jeremiah 31:13 I will turn their mourning into joy . . . and bring happiness out of grief.

Psalm 92:4  You, O Lord, have made me happy by your work. I will sing for joy because of what you have done. 

Psalm 68:3  But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.

The separation of joy and happiness is artificial at best, a pendulum swing in response to the fear of searching for happiness in ungodly things, maybe. God is the Source of happiness to all people. He has imprinted each person with longing for joy, so we’ll search for Him and find our happiness there.

God has imprinted us with longing for joy, so we'll search for Him & find our happiness there. Click To Tweet

Incarnated Joy

As incarnated beings, our faith permeates us intellectually, spiritually, physically and emotionally.  And to the believer, it is God’s joy that permeates us, strengthening us for all we face in this world.  I would hazard a guess that the people we each know who are the epitome of joy have something in common: they are generally very happy. How very drab and unfortunate it would be to live a life undergirded by hope in Christ, but to not experience it in our physical bodies and our emotions. How incomplete.

Riley’s world turned upside down. Her family’s new venture took her away from all she knew and loved. In addition to the deep loss of relocation, there are mis-haps along the way:  lost belongings, a dilapidated new house, and the new school make Riley long for the comfort of familiar. The happenings that surround her threaten her joy, both her abiding sense of confidence and her happy, contended feelings. 

Joy deepens with the acknowledgement and experience of sadness

Joy stays busy trying to guarantee that Riley doesn’t experience any sadness. She panics when “Sadness” accidentally touches a memory, turning it to a melancholy one. She does not want her girl to know anything of heartache, and tries to protect her from it at all times. Incidentally, it is partly Joy’s antics that set her and Sadness out on the difficult journey they face together through much of the movie. As they travel and problem solve together, Sadness sometimes expresses herself, and sometimes wants to quit, and Joy eventually begins to finally see her friend’s value.

Scripture tells us that people who sow in tears will reap in songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. (Psalm 126:5-6). It is as if the sorrow paves the way for joy to come. Instead of containing, avoiding, or ignoring it, experiencing sadness prepares us for the harvest of joy to follow.  In Spurgeon’s sermon no 1027, he highlighted how precious holy sorrow is before God. He went on to clarify that this sorrow does not keep us from godly joy. 

Poet Kahlil Gibran wrote, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” The wounds and rivulets of grief and sorrow become channels for God’s gracious joy to flow. 

 

God meets us in our sorrow, allowing us to experience it, and He is faithful to nurture and grow tender joy. In fact, it is His joy that strengthens us in our trials (Neh. 8:10). Our weeping may last for a night, but shouts of rejoicing come in the morning.

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. -K. Gibran Click To Tweet

Sadness is vital for self-awareness and the formation of relationships

Moving is just plain tough. There’s grief all wrapped up inside the change, and it’s not necessarily easy to untangle emotions that surround it. Riley’s first night in her new home feels so lonely. Her mom, in an effort to encourage her, commends Riley for keeping a happy face on throughout the process. Inadvertently, this discourages her daughter from acknowledging or sharing her sadness. In a different scene, when Riley is in a turmoil because Anger, Disgust and Fear are alone at the helm, Riley’s father snaps at her, once again invalidating Riley’s jumbled emotions.  

It is important to validate emotions. Otherwise, confusion can create uncertainty about what is real and what isn’t. Poor Riley’s parents just wanted her to be happy, and didn’t realize they were denying the legitimacy of her sadness. She ended up running away because she did not know how to handle her chaotic feelings.

Thankfully, it is at this point that Sadness has her hero moment. She takes control, and her touch turns core memories blue. With sorrow permeating Riley’s core memories, she is finally able to fall apart and tell her parents all of the things she misses about home. Because Joy gave way to Sadness, Riley was able to become aware of her own feelings, and articulate them to her parents. Finally realizing what their daughter was going through, they validated her by listening and sharing their own feelings. Sadness strengthened their relationship.

 

Sadness is meant to be shared

Joy tried to confine Sadness. She sent her away to read mind manuals, and she drew a circle instructing poor Sadness not to step outside of it. But Sadness could not be confined. When Riley tried to hide her sadness from her parents, she created a barrier between her and them. Self-protection is natural, I think, but it keeps us from closeness in relationships that is so important. Rather than hiding our brokenness we need to share it with others. In her book The Broken Way, Ann Voskamp writes, “Withness breaks brokenness.”  

Withness breaks brokenness. – Ann Voskamp

When Riley’s core memory turned sad, and she shared it with her parents, it actually brought them closer to her because they were with her, and could be empathetic.

Scripture says that those who mourn are blessed, for they will be comforted (Matt 5:4). Mourning is such an intense grief that there is no hiding it inside; it must come out; it must reach to others. Sadness needs to have permission to be touched, shared, and felt by those who can then become comforters. Jesus shared the bread and the cup, foreshadowing His broken body and shed blood. He gave them to His disciples to bring fully into themselves. We are to carry others’ brokenness with them.

We are to carry others' brokenness with them. Click To Tweet

Joy and Sadness

At the climax of Inside Out, Joy and Sadness were working together. Riley cried and smiled at the same time, creating a brand new core memory. It wasn’t just happy, and it wasn’t just sad…it was a multi-dimensional, much richer memory because Joy gave way to Sadness, and sadness paved the way for joy.

John 16:20  Truly, truly, I say to you, that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy.

 

How about you?

Have you experienced joy giving way to sadness, and sadness paving the way to joy? Do you think sadness is a key player in the journey toward joy?

Comment below! I would love to hear your stories.

 

Elizabeth Joy

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